Sometimes I wonder if Big Brother: ‘Til Death Do You Part is made more of group delusion or individual narcissism. And sometimes I just wonder why we even still use that name since there are no official couples any longer.
In review, James was evicted and immediately brought back, making nothing of the big campaign to let America vote a player back into the house when BB just let the players do it. No sooner was he back in the house then he had won HoH after striking a deal with Natalie to keep her and Matt safe for the week. As such, it was Sheila and Ryan facing eviction. But there were 3 people who did not vote to bring James back and he wants to know who the third person was: Matt or Adam?
Ryan is trying to line up his ducks and as such he asks Joshuah if they still have a secret alliance and is told they do, although Joshuah later confessionals that he’s more than happy to let Ryan think they are aligned while in truth it’s every man for himself. Ryan ends up cornered by Sheila who emphatically repeats that they need a miracle. But all I can think is that she needs some mascara.
Speaking of miracles, however, we take another break from scheming and plotting to try and decipher a little bit more about the grand mysteries of our almighty Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, with the theologians Adam, Matt and Ryan. The main essence of tonight’s bible study focuses on the questions "What is the Arc of the Covenant?" and "What is the Holy Grail?" As it turns out, apart from amazingly enough "still" being missing, they are primarily plot devices from Indiana Jones movies and also probably worth more than the "$30 or $40 million dollars and crazy tools and equipment and stuff" needed to find them. I hope this has brought some of you a measure of peace and enlightenment.
Going with that theme, Sheila decides to ask for forgiveness. Not from our Lord – from Adam. She repeats that she never meant him harm and hated being mean to him. Which, she really could have fooled me, as being mean to him seemed to be her whole purpose for existing for the first few weeks. I guess Sheila works in mysterious ways. Yet, in the midst of all this holiness, no one is confessing to that 3rd vote against James. Then again, we have Natalie, who breaks one of the ten commandments by lying to Sharon an telling her that Adam is the one who is not coming clean about his vote. Luckily, Sharon is like King Solomon and thusly sees right through Natalie’s cunning attempt to trick her.
But before she can do anything about it, 3 mysterious wooden blocks appear in the Guinea pig pen. The letters on the blocks are P, O, and V and the HGs wonder what it might refer to. Dear me! Do you think it might be about the POV competition? Everyone takes a good long look, but the brain trust of the house – Sheila and Natalie – obsess longer than most, with Natalie urging Sheila to study the cage all night if she has to. The urgency of Natalie’s advice causes Sheila to doubt how much support she has in the house and makes it too difficult for her to concentrate on studying the wooden blocks, so she collapses in bed to cry instead. I really wish I were making all this up, but I totally am not.
It is played by Matt, Chelsia and Joshuah in addition to Ryan, Sheila and James. They must carry 500 toy wooden blocks, two at a time, across 3 balance beams to deposit them in a tube on the other side. If anyone falls or drops a block they are eliminated from the competition and the person to complete the task first wins. Matt is the first to fall and I admit that I laughed when Joshuah comments "He’s a roofer…you would think he’d have better balance". Ryan falls soon after and then Sheila drops a block. Chelsia tries to get fancy by nearly running and ends up falling instead, bringing it down to James and Joshuah. James wins due to completing the task first and enjoys the most lackluster celebration ever. Yay.
There is another weak attempt at campaigning by Sheila, who informs Matt, Natalie and Adam that she kept them in the game and she expects the same in return. When Natalie admits that she’s struggling with deciding who to vote for, Sheila is shocked. And appalled. She tells Natalie that she doesn’t owe her anything but that has always been straight up with everyone in the house. If she means straight up batsh!t insane, I’ll agree with her. Sheila tries to get sympathy from Adam, who avoids actually answering her himself by saying "it’s all just theory at the moment". Relativity is a theory. Eviction votes are not.
Meanwhile, James has decided he is going to use the Veto. In fact, he’s decided that since Adam was so abrasive a few days ago when he insisted that he voted to bring James back in the house, that he must have actually been trying to cover for the fact that he was lying. This is due in part to Sheila’s argument about how Adam plays "cute" but actually flip flops, has no spine and "nothing between his legs either" and based on that she thinks James should take her off the block and put Adam up. It seems for a hot minute like that is just what will happen, but then Sharon comes to the rescue. Well, actually, James sends Chelsia to go get her and she plays off going to the HoH room in the most obviously forced nonchalant way possible. Once inside, James tells her of his plan to use the veto and tells him that she knows "for a fact" that Matt was the 3rd vote.
And just like that, his fate is written as if on stone tablet handed from on high. The POV ceremony goes a little weird when the nominees offer their disjointed pleas, but as per usual – despite Sheila’s compelling argument of "I’ve protected everyone else because that’s the kind of person I am but from now on I want to play for only myself!" – they fall on deaf ears. Sheila is saved, but not because of a word she said . It was all just t put Matt on the block next to Ryan. Ryan admits he feels relieved, since the only person the house wants out more than him is Matt. Matt cries in confessional and admits defeat. Natalie surmises that James has brown eyes because he’s so full of crap.
And yea verily, the Lord said it was good and so it was.