Ryan_bigbrother_s9_240For a show that markets itself with the slogan "expect the unexpected," this episode sure didn’t offer up anything very surprising. In fact, what could have been one of the most exciting installments of the season was actually downright dull.

Even these spoilers were sort of bored by this episode.

Most of the blame for this banality lies with the fact that, aside from a few side deals, the end players have been in an alliance together so long there was almost no question of how this would play out. Aside from Sheila wining the final HoH competition (which, face it, was never going to happen) almost nothing could have happened to shake things up. Let’s see how it all went down, shall we?

The episode begins with Julie in a flattering yellow shirt, black pants and a brown belt. Even when she’s being tame, there’s always just one thing wrong with her outfit, isn’t there? Sigh. Use that Les Moonves money, girl, and hire a stylist! Anywho, she gets right down to business explaining that Sharon was a surprise last-minute evictee because Ryan and Adam struck a deal an hour before the eviction to get rid of her instead of Sheila, with the reasoning that Sharon could win HoH and Sheila couldn’t. And by "Ryan and Adam struck a deal" she means "Adam talked Ryan into doing what was in Adam’s best interests, and Ryan went along with it because he’s not all that smart." You know, if you were reading between the lines. Adam really is Ryan’s little puppet master and has been for a very long time, which is easy for him considering Ryan’s strategy usually consists of going along with whoever talks to him last.

Now it’s time to find out who won part one of the HoH competition. We left our houseguests hanging on for dear life while being pelted by freezing water, and by the looks of it when we return Sheila is not long for this world. To make matters worse, Sheila is being taunted by the two guys (their strategy going in) and also haunted by the memory of almost drowning 12 years ago. Sheila, honey. I don’t think you are going to drown in that kiddie pool. About half an hour in she can’t take it any more and gives up, with the plan to win part two of the competition instead, because she has been so good at winning competitions in the past. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you lose $500,000. Adam almost immediately quits and gives part one to Ryan, with the agreement that whoever wins the whole thing between the two of them will boot Sheila, because they know there’s no way Sheila’s winning anything.

Next, Adam and Sheila compete in part two. It’s some sort of guinea pig wheel with a maze attached where the goal is to get little balls out with houseguests name on them and then put those balls in order of who won HoH in the house. Needless to say, Adam completely demolishes Sheila, beating her time by almost 20 minutes. Sheila is useless, y’all. They should have a complaining competition. She would take that one for sure. After the competition Adam starts to get a bit cocky and acts like he has this whole game won (which he probably does) and Ryan takes offense at that and seemingly considers he might have an easier time in the end against Sheila. He’s probably right. Too bad he cannot make independent decisions for the life of him.

Finally, it’s time for the interesting part of the episode: the weekly look into what’s happening in the jury house. It seems since the last time we saw them Matt is starting to get along swimmingly with Joshuah, but not so much with Natalie. In fact, she says every time she enters a room, he leaves it. Just when you think she might be onto the fact that Matt hates her and she should move on to greener and less jerky pastures, you see her crying to Joshuah over the fact Matt is being "mean" to her. Christ on a cracker, woman, get a clue! HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU. Sigh. When that nasty little piece of business is over we get to see the reactions when Sharon walks into the house, and the disgusted look on James’ face is absolutely priceless. Heh. Everyone (except Matt) seems sorry to see her there as they realize someone from "Team Matty" (barf) is going to win the prize. Whatever, it least it wasn’t Matt himself. When they watch the tapes from Sharon’s eviction, Chelsia gets very proud of herself for noticing a glance between Adam and Ryan, which means they’re definitely working together. And this is news…why? Is them working together evil in a game where alliances are key? I don’t get why everyone seems so outraged.

Finally, it’s time for the final part of the HoH competition. It’s the usual setup, with Ryan and Adam having to guess how jury members will finish a sentence that Julie provides. Both do pretty poorly, but in the end Ryan takes it and predictably takes Adam to the final two with him. Sheila is absolutely devastated and in her final interview cries a lot to Julie, but it seems strangely forced. There were no tears in her tears. As Sheila sits on the eviction couch with Julie like a woman broken, Ryan and Adam celebrate inside the house with their patented, strange handshake.

I have to say, I think Adam will probably win this thing. But don’t listen to me, I was sure Danielle was going to take it last season. Never underestimate the way a scorned jury can swing inside that sequester house.

Favorite quotes:

  • "I was in Hawaii one time and I almost drownd-ed." – Sheila, fighting valiantly with proper grammar and losing
  • "I can’t even fathom the fact I’m winning $500,000 right now." – Adam, realizing he’s probably got this game sewn up
  • "Now we have the ultimate bromance." – Julie Chen, making the world giggle because it’s funny when robots say made up words like "bromance"

(That’s it for me this season, folks, as Jessi will be bringing things home in the finale on Sunday. See you this summer for season 10!)

Posted by:Carrie Raisler