There are times when being a part of the Big Brother: ‘Til Death Do You Part house seems like it would be a bit like an elongated spring break what with all the bathing suits and lounging around the pool and hot tubbing and such. Other times, like tonight, not so much. But I am getting ahead of myself. We start with a brief recap of Amanda being an annoying gossip, Jen & Parker being evicted, and James and Chelsia winning HoH.

Amanda is upset Jen & Parker are gone, ending the possible showmance between her and Parker. Meanwhile, her partner Alex is glad Parker is gone for exactly the same reason. Additionally, Allison is glad Jen is out of the picture because she thinks Ryan deserves better and that this will give their relationship a  chance to grow. Which means Ryan should probably run away. Screaming. The pink striped Chelsia and James are just happy to be in the position that now allows them to do "shady" things. I suppose we all need hobbies.

Tensions in the house are pretty low, as everyone figures Amanda & Alex will be up for the vote due to her running her mouth, though Allison thinks she’s safe simply because Chelsia believes she is a lesbian. Lesbians get automagical immunity? I missed that in the Big Brother: Big Book of Stupid Rules. James promises Matt that he won’t go up on the block, not because he’s a Lesbian but because…well, I am not sure why. But he promises and Matt points to the camera’s and asks "You get that America?" We do, Matt…we just know that promises don’t matter much in the Big Brother house. Haven’t you ever watched this show?

A new alliance of sorts is created and I wonder if this one will actually stick. "Operation Condor" is made up of James, Adam and Ryan and has settled on evicting the "upper deck", which is basically the people on the top row of the memory wall. this row is made up of 4 people, of which one couple was already evicted. The other couple? Amanda & Alex. And this may go down as one of the most anti-climatic episodes ever. Though, another new alliance is cooked up between Amanda and Josh after she generously forgives him. right. The thing I don’t get about these "Alliances" is how none of them are made up of couples. And if your partner doesn’t go along with you, guess what? No alliance!

On the showmance horizon, we find out that Natalie has a thing for Matt. A thing that he doesn’t seem to share as he flat out tells her he doesn’t want to have sex with her. Despite having told people in the house that she likes him, Natalie confessionals that she and Matt are like the couple in The Cutting Edge, that they like each other but don’t want to admit it. Except, she did admit it. Experiencing slightly more success are James & Chelsia. And by "slightly", I mean they will totally do it by the end of the week.

The showmance that seems to be falling apart is Allison and Shelia, since Allison wants to tell Chelsia and Joshuah that they lied about being a lesbian couple. Which just further proves Allison’s instability, since she confessionaled earlier that she was safe due to her lesbian status. Shelia thinks this is possibly a bad idea, especially since Joshuah may accuse them of playing the "gay card". They decide to "stroke" him by telling him that they respect that he kept it quiet when they specifically told him because they figured the entire house would know by the end of the night. Which doesn’t sound all that complimentary to me, really. When the do finally reveal the truth, Chelsia acts like she couldn’t care less and Joshuah acts pretty uncertain about the whole mess, but when they conference later they both agree that Shelia is a b!tch and Allison is a pathological liar. I hope that this gets Allison & Ryan up on the block because I find her deeply creepy.

Food Competition:
This is where the Spring Break vibe falls apart. The competition breaks the HGs into two teams. Half the members get to stand on a boat deck and hoist a fish net. The other members get to slog about in stagnant water full of dead fish and try to toss the rancid things into the nets of the opposite team. The first team to have all it’s members drop their nets is on slop. It’s utterly disgusting and I think less of Ryan when he camera talks that he likes dirty girls in bikinis. There’s nothing sexy about fish guts, Ryan. The team of Shelia & Adam, Chelsia & James and Amanda & Alex lose, and deservedly so, since they had Amanda as one of their net holders – which was just foolish.

Nomination Ceremony
This is where the real surprise starts. As expected Amanda & Alex are up on the block, but going up against them is Matt & Natalie. This is despite the fact that Matt confirmed James’ earlier promise, which seems like a double burn. During the announcement, James goes out of his way to say that they put up Matt and Natalie because they think they are the strongest competitors in the house and they are counting on them to win PoV and get Alex & Amanda out. Unfortunately, this may well backfire on them, since Matt feels so betrayed that he vows in DR that if they do get PoV, he’s going after James and Chelsia. Which would be stupid, since Alex & Amanda seem likely to go no matter what, but no one has accredited this cast with an abundance of intelligence.

The Funny:
The Bueno Montage. Not only because Amanda pronounces it as "Bway-no" but because she apparently thinks it means "Hello".

Now, get back to watching The Oscars!

Posted by:Jessica Paff