Why, hello there Big Shots. It’s been ages! Let’s take a moment to get reacquainted, shall we?

When we last saw our favorite Desperate Businessmen: James was all set to reveal his feelings to Katie when she broke the news that she’s back with Oliver the Married Jerkface; Duncan slugged mortal enemy Terrence and pleadingly asked/told Lizzie not to marry him at her lavish birthday party; Terrance, on the precipice of Lizzie breaking up with him, said he’d make amends for leaking the Prostitute story by combining his quietly obtained shares of Reveal with hers to get Duncan his job back if she’d still marry him (which he did so we all know what her answer was); Cam discovered Zack really isn’t her half-brother but, before she can let anyone know, she got trapped in her car which won’t start with Zack standing next to the window asking her to get out; I don’t remember what Karl was doing and frankly I don’t care; and Brody, again, didn’t have enough to do.

A lot happened this week so bear with me. This might take awhile. Behold the spoilers!

Duncan & Lizzie & Cameron & Zack

We start off with Zack as he pleads with Cameron to give him a chance to explain himself face to face. Understandably suspiscious, she agrees to giving him the requested ten minutes…with a can of mace in hand. Smart girl. Zack, apparently, has had a rough life (though we’ve yet to hear of any stories) and he really did think that Duncan was his father. When the DNA tests were returned negative, he paid the lab technician to fake the results. He didn’t do it for the money or anything, he just liked having a dad. Single tear. Cam, feeling some sympathy, tells Zack that he has until tomorrow morning to come clean with Duncan or else she’ll have to do it. Meanwhile, Duncan visits Lizzie at her house as she talks to a florist about the floral arrangements for her wedding to give her a present – a little ceramic lilly pot that she loves – and ask why he wasn’t invited to the wedding. After assuring her he won’t be any trouble and only wants her to be happy, he’s invited.

Next on his to-do list is stealing a Japanese supermodel named Riko Mara from a rival company to be Reveal’s newest spokesmodel. This will allow them to break into the Asian market and truly be worldwide. Duncan meets Riko and her manager as they’re walking to their limo with the driver. Bluffing his way into the car, Duncan begins his sell on the way to the city but the manager isn’t translating. As they drive, Duncan notices her eyes light up when they pass Yankee Stadium (and that she asked her manager something which was denied) and he continues his spiel. When he says he’s from Reveal, they leave him on they side of the freeway. Nice. Duncan makes it back to the office a bit bedraggled but still focused. He calls Brody to track down where Riko will be having lunch with the rival company and Cam comes in. She asks if Duncan’s talked to Zack yet but no, he hasn’t. So she takes it upon herself to not-so-gently break the news. To say he is unhappy would be an understatement (royally pissed is more accurate), but the show must go on.

He crashes Riko’s business lunch and, apologizing to Larry the Rival Exec, asks the translater to tell Riko that he’s schedule a tour of Yankee Stadium. Both Larry and the manager tell the translator not to while Duncan says to do it and back and forth they go until Duncan also mentions he got Hideo Matsuki to be the personal tourguide. Riko, to everyone’s surprise, agrees to go…in English. Some time later, Duncan interupts a meeting to introduce Riko to everyone. When he brings up the Board of Directors, someone breaks it to him that two members have been bought out, the rumor being by Terrence. The news is a total buzzkill. After getting one of the ladies to show Riko to the Observation Deck, Duncan closes the door and goes a little ballistic. It doesn’t help that Zack picks this time to show up. Duncan yells at him and tells him to get out. When Zack asks for a chance to explain, Duncan threatens to call security.

That night, Lizzie sits in a chair and stares at the ceramic lilies somewhat sadly. She hides it well when Terrence walks in on his way to his bachelor party. He eyes the ceramic bauble suspiciously on his way out the door and, as he drives off in his car, we see Zack in another car begin to follow.

The next day, Duncan is on the phone with Cam who is helping get everything ready. He’s having second thoughts about attending but she refuses to have to endure the wedding alone. She also adds that she’s not sure Lizzie knows what she wants since two days prior she was ready to call off the wedding. Hmmm…isn’t that when Duncan got his job back? As he’s putting two and two together, there’s a knock at the door – it’s Zack. Cam tells Duncan to have mercy on the poor boy before she hangs up. Zack looks like a slice of hell, disheveled and beaten about the face. He followed Terrence to the strip club where the bachelor party was and managed to snap some pictures of the groom and an overly friendly performer, his cuts and bruises courtesy of the bouncers that noticed the amutuer photography. Zack came to give Duncan the photos to help him stop the wedding. Having a small moment of empathy, Duncan offers him $1,000 as part of the inheirtance that never was. Zack doesn’t want the money but Duncan insists and then promptly kicks him out, telling him to start a new life elsewhere. Zack reluctantly takes the money and leaves, looking like Duncan just run over his dog, kicked him in the balls, pointed and laughed, and drove away.

Duncan arrives at the wedding site and visits Lizzie. He brings up the while job/marriage connection but she sidesteps it and says that everyone may not be getting what they want, but they’re getting what they need. Even though Duncan doesn’t want her to go through with it, he decides against showing her the pictures and leaves. The wedding goes trhough as planned. At the reception, Duncan comes by to congratualate them, telling Terrence that being his subordinate just isn’t going to work and that he’s going to resign the next day. Terrence tells Duncan not to be silly and that he should stop thinking that every move that’s made is against him. Duncan agrees to stay on, though I’m pretty sure he’s doing it more for Lizzie sake than anything else. And as if the day couldn’t get worse, he comes back to his apartment to find an open door, some knocked over furniture, and an unconcious Zack dressed in a tuxedo clutching an empty bottle of pills.

James & Katie

James runs into Oliver the Cheating Jerkface on the street and make amends with him since he’s with Katie again. Only when James remarks that he’s sorry that work has been taking up so much of her time, Oliver reveals that Katie broke up with him weeks ago – meaning Katie lied. At work, James mans up and asks Katie to be his date to Lizzie’s wedding – a "date" date – and drops his knowledge about her lying about being back with the Cheating Jerkface. When she tries to throw the "it was like kissing my brother" line, he slaps that down too. She finally says that they’ve been friends so long that she doesn’t want to jeopardize it and walks out before he can respond.

Later, James catches her in the hallway and gives her another big account to work on…and a cd mixtape entitled "Songs for Katie." How much do I want to squeeze Michael Vartan right now?

Katie must be thinking the same thing as she put the cd into her computer and, with her headphones on and the first track playing, gazes into the hallway at James with a little smile on her face. She listens to it throughout the day and, while standing in the back of a crowded elevator, she looks at James contemplatingly with a much bigger smile. The next day she goes into James’ office and gives him the cd back. When he aks what she thought, she confesses that it was a lot to take in. He’s happy she agrees with him and says he knew the ad didn’t need any music. Huh? Well, that mixtape was really potential songs for a photo-related ad they’re doing. Oops. Katie manages to play off her shock pretty well and leaves.

At Lizzie’s wedding, James is about to take off before the reception…until Duncan alerts him to Katie presence. She’s changed her mind about the whole brother thing and we last see them slow dancing. Katie begins to say something, but then stops herself and James tells her he’s glad she came too. Nia
Long did excellent work in this episode, as always. She and Michael Vartan work really well together.


Holy crap, Brody gets a centralized plot! It’s a Festivus miracle! It’s Brody and Jenelle’s anniversary and, as a present, he’s promised to make sure the contractor finishes the renovations to their kitchen. On his way to the house to check on things, he stops to help a pretty, sarcastic girl stranded on the side of the road…who just happens to be Charisma Carpenter, or Heather as her name is here. He fixes her tire and they flirt through witty banter. She asks him out and he turns her down, stating that he’s involved and flashing his wedding band. She’s doesn’t mind so much as she’s seeing someone too. But, being the good guy he is, he still says no.

He did, however, give her his business card early on to assure Heather that he wasn’t a crazy killer so when she text messages him to meet for lunch, Brody agrees (he just got off the phone with Jenelle and she was being particularly bitchy). At the restuarant, she asks him why he decided to show up. When he says it’s because a guy’s gotta eat, Heather sighs and says that she’ll go first and then maybe he’ll catch on.

She explains that she feels like she’s competing for the attention of her man with his friends and the fact that he’s always on the go. It makes her feel lonely and she doesn’t like the person she becomes in response to it. Brody confesses that he loves his wife and has never given her any reason to think he’d be unfaithful, yet she still insists on constantly calling him and knowing where he is every second of the day. While he’s at the end of his rope, it’s still long enough for him to pull his hand away when she places her hand on top of it. On the way out of the resturuant, Heather throws herself at him again but Brody doesn’t bite. She tells him to get in touch if he changes his mind, kissing him before she leaves (he just stood there, surprised).

The next day, he has another terrible fight with Jenelle and breaks down and texts Heather that he’s ready to meet. He arrives at her hotel room and she pulls him inside. Surely he doesn’t go through with it. I mean…this is Brody. He’s so much smarter than that, right? Wrong. He slept with her. He slept with her! AND he tells her that he loves her. Wtf? Heather laughs and says he must be begging for her to end it, and he is. He says he wants his wife back. Heather smiles…because Heather is really Jenelle. This was a whole elaborate fantasy scenario for their anniversary. Whew! I have to give it up to the writers and Christopher Titus and Charisma Carpenter. They totally had me going on this one. When I rewound and watched their scenes again, some things that were slightly odd to me totally made sense (like how his phone had the same personalized ring when Jenelle and "Heather" called/texted). Seriously, snaps to all involved. They had me snookered.

With the ex-mistress and wife off at the ex-mistress’ high school reunion, Karl gets a week all by himself. And we get an episode in which he’s in only two scenes. Awesome. It’s not that I’m against the character altogether, it’s that I’m against his tired storyline.

Quotes of the Night:

  • "Ten minutes…otherwise you and I are going to christen my can of Manhattan girl mace." – Cam stating the consequences of trying anything funny before stepping out of the car
  • "More like a ‘I’ll always love you even though you’re marrying someone else but look what a good guy I am’ gift." – Duncan to Lizzie when asked if his present to her was a wedding gift
  • "You really should listen to me once in awhile. This guy doesn’t even speak Japanese and he figured it out." – Riko Mara to her manager before leaving the lunch meeting with Duncan

So, are we all happy to have the Big Shots back? For a show I was sure I was going to hate, I’ve grown surprisingly fond of it. How long until Lizzie’s marriage to Terrence implodes? Will Duncan ever show her the photos…or will he use them for something far more sinister? Did anyone miss Karl? How do we feel about Katie and James going full speed ahead? Do you think they really killed off Zack? Did I miss your favorite scene or quote?

Posted by:Tamara Brooks