bones emily deschanel maiden in the mushrooms fox 'Bones': A tragic death and many funny quotes in 'The Maiden in the Mushrooms'

A corpse covered in mushrooms. A TV court show with a lot of angry losers. An unsubstantiated accusation of biting. Hot sauce. All of this makes for a “Bones” filled with mystery, great wit and many quotes. Here are the episode highlights from “The Maiden in the Mushrooms.”

Let the punishment fit the crime!

The victim of the week is the producer of a “Judge Judy” rip-off, appropriately starring a Judge Trudy. Despite evidence pointing to disgruntled plaintiffs and defendants, that’s not what happened.

As it turns out, the security guy for the show had had a relationship with the murdered producer. The two shared custody of a beloved dog after that relationship ended, but the woman wasn’t much of a pet owner. One day, Security Guy came by to take the puppy and found her dead, strangled by her leash when left alone.

In rage and sorrow, the man recreated his puppy’s death.

Smaller crimes

This wasn’t just an episode about murder and a law-related TV show. Two other crimes were allegedly committed during “The Maiden in the Mushrooms.”

Crime number 1: The biting incident
Booth (David Boreanaz) and Brennan (Emily Deschanel) are shocked to learn that their beloved, angelic, above-average daughter Christine is turning into a biter. Granted, it sounds like Emma C. deserved what she got, but it’s still disturbing.

It is especially disturbing to Brennan. The scientist devotes a great deal of her time in this episode trying to find the forensic evidence needed to exonerate her child. Alas, a comparison of dental marks yields only inconclusive results. Things aren’t looking too good for Christine’s case.

Fortunately, Brennan doesn’t give up. The school yields in the end, admitting that there is no conclusive proof of Christine biting anyone.

Too bad about the bite marks on her own neck…

Crime number 2: Hot sauce from the heart
Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) drank all of Finn’s (Luke Kleintank) hot sauce from the lab’s fridge. This wouldn’t be so bad, except this was the last bottle of Granny Abernathy’s sauce made before the beloved woman’s death.

Never one to accept defeat in a lab setting, Hodgins immediately works to rectify the situation by recreating the sauce. Finn is understandably skeptical of Hodgins’ efforts, pointing out that there is no chemical analysis for love.

But what about Hodgins’ love? Great effort and extreme chemistry do eventually yield the perfect hot sauce. It’s so perfect, in fact, that Opie and Thurston are ready to market their sauce to the world!

Funny quotes from the episode

“I hate Ryan and Christie!” — Guy who just found a body while on a scavenger hunt

“Which kid?” — Brennan
“Emma. One of the Emmas.” — Booth
“Which Emma? Emma R. or Emma C.?” — Brennan
“Emma C.” — Booth
“Figures. She cries when they sing ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.'” — Brennan

“Train wrecks are not pleasurable. No wonder you feel guilty.” — Brennan

“What have you learned about Emma? Does she have a history of false reporting?” — Brennan

“This isn’t even a real courtroom. There’s no ceiling!” — Brennan

“If someone was accused of biting, wouldn’t you demand solid proof for a conviction?” — Brennan

“I’m not going to let that hot sauce die!” — Hodgins

“I’m gonna burn the crap out of your mouth and you are going to love it!” — Hodgins

“Revenge! That makes things right!” — Suspect

“He said he understands why you get psycho.” — Booth
“I wouldn’t use that word…” — Sweets
“I know. That’s why I’m here.” — Booth

“Ma’am, if I could speak?” — Finn
“You are.” — Brennan

“You know this is pretty extreme, right?” — Angela, on hacking into a preschool’s server
“Motherhood makes demands that you can’t ignore.” — Brennan

“You’re saying she’s innocent because her desk is neat?” — Booth

“I’ve fought for this sauce. And I ain’t proud to say it, but my cousin lost his hand because of this sauce!” — Finn

“The abundance of forensic evidence against Christine was obviously tainted by multiple sources.” — Brennan

Sure, there were some serious parts too — especially that bit about the murder being motivated by the death of a beloved dog — but it’s always good to celebrate the fun.

Posted by:Laurel Brown