Bones digs into geek culture (my people!) with this tale of a booth babe betrayed. It also takes a few digs at other FOX shows. Someone’s feeling a bit slighted and is acting out…
This spoiler scoffs that it was only a flesh wound.
Three young LARPers discover a nasty corpse wearing do-me heels and skimpy armor, with her head basically exploded with blunt force trauma. That's Kendra Kim, who was until recently a model and booth babe at Imagicon, a generic Sci-Fi/fantasy/gaming-type convention populated by wandering costumed attendees. Cue the goggling and the disbelief from Brennan (who is actually fascinated by the idea). I'll giver her a pass on this one, because the vast majority of people have never set foot in a Con. Their loss…
Brennan is paired up with agent Perotta, the perky blond who helped out in Booth's hockey fantasy-camp episode and then tailed the crew during the Gravedigger debacle. That's because Booth has serious back trouble, which was exacerbated by Brennan's amateur chiropracty. Granted, Booth begged her to crack his back, but it didn't turn out well, and now Booth is hopped up on vicodin and stretched out on the floor. He's out for the count.
The team quickly discovers that Kendra had recently acquired Excalibur, the prop sword used in Le Morte D'Arthur, which the resident geek blacksmith describes as the first fantasy movie ever made. "The Excalibur from this film is the holy grail of fantasy memorabilia!" he says.
First suspect: Valerie Daniels, a gothy collector of medieval weapons and willing men. She admits that she was pissed off Kendra had the sword, and even more pissed off by her story of how she got it. Did Kendra really expect anyone to believe that a Black Knight just walked up and gave it to her? As if! Valerie admits to trashing Kendra's condo in search of the sword, but says she was too busy boinking at the time of the murder to have killed her.
Evidence on the body leads the team to a park, where they dig up the sword. Everyone except Brennan is enraptured by it (because dude! Cool sword!), and Sweets volunteers to go on an undercover mission to smoke out the killer. He "poses" as a geek and provokes a bidding war for the sword, eventually winning it. But when he and Brennan are driving home. they're rammed by another car, and a Black Knight snatches the sword. Not so fast, varlet! Brennan may not know who Xena is, but she does a pretty decent warrior princess impression as she kicks the knights chain-mailed behind and get the sword back. (Alas, she did not break out an iyiyiyiyi! battlecry. That was too much to hope for.)
More analysis of the sword, the crash site, and geek knowledge reveals that Kroon, the resident blacksmith and chain-mail fabricator, killed Kendra, in the most gruesome way possible. See, he used to love her, so he had to kill her. Now she's six feet under, and he still hears her complaaaaain… Ok, he really did "love" her, so he gave her the sword, his most valuable posession. When he discovered she was going ot sell it for rent money, he got pissed and broke her head with a medieval torture device. Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either, but who cares! I was having too much fun basking in the geekitude of it all.
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
- NotHappy NotZack is back, drowning in the slough of despond that is his life. At least he gets some nookie from Valerie, and discovers the murder weapon — a Pear of Anguish, which is just plain nasty.
- NotHappy NotZack reveals that he is a geek, enjoying both Stars (Wars and Trek), Buffy, Xena, Akira… "I even watch Fringe!" That's why his girlfriend dumped him, he says. I'm unclear on whether it was for general geekitudde, or the specific sin of watching Fringe. That's FOX dig number one.
- FOX dig number two: Sweets goes to the auctioneer with agent Perrota and does his best Cal Lightman/Paul Ekman impersonation. Perrota says Booth was right — "You're like a portable polygraph!" "He didn't mean it in a good way," Sweets says.
- FOX dig number three: Flagrant use of vicodin. Unlike a certain pill-popping, Emmy-winning doctor on the network, Booth gets utterly loopy and is unable to function on the pills.
- Booth has one vaguely relevant moment — he tells Perrota that she is not to leave Brennan alone again, because he would hate for anything to happen to her, and "that silky black hair and that soft skin…" I'm undecided as to whether to call this FOX dig number four, as Brennan doesn't have black hair — but Cameron and Echo kind of do.
- Brennan tells Perotta that Booth gets needlessly protective of her sometimes. "I have no idea why," she says. "You really don't, do you," Perotta replies. Hee.
- Sweets is lots of fun this week, but I have one quibble — he wore a red shirt and a Star Trek communicator badge? Was he ASKING to get killed?
- Sweets also spars with Valerie a bit, who comes on strong. “I bet you are far more ripped than one would think under those schoolboy duds,” she purrs. “Yes, but that's not the issue….” he replies.
- Was that Kynt and Vyxsin hamming it up at the auction? I actually saw them at a comic convention in Chicago. (Told you the geeks were my people.) The've certainly milked their 15 minutes of Amazing Race fame for all it's worth…
- Brennan goes back to Booth at the end of the episode, and discovers that maybe she can fix his back. Perrota walks in on the two of them as they're in a suspicious clinch. Both women leave, much to Booth's dismay.