After a very, very long hiatus, “Bones” is back in business! When a rare D.C. earthquake causes a water main to burst and a body to surface, the Jeffersonian team uncovers a love triangle… and a murderous cop, played by Clea DuVall. (Ever notice that the most well-known guest star in the episode is always the villain?)
As much as we love Clea – who is phenomenal in everything she does – we haven’t waited so many months to catch up with the case-of the week. Let’s get to the good stuff.
It’s moments like these that we wish “Bones” was on HBO. For ages, fans have been dying to know what’s on page 187 of Brennan’s latest crime novel. We now know that it’s a too-steamy-to-say-out-loud (on network TV at least) sex act, inspired by Hodgins, as dictated to Brennan by Angela.
Yes, apparently Angela fills in the missing details when Brennan can’t quite get over the science-y parts of her books. That explains a lot about how Brennan, who wouldn’t know social graces if they hit her in the forehead, manages to entertain the masses with her novels.
We dig the idea that Angela is still hung up on Hodgins’ skills in bed. Can those two crazy squints work it out soon, please? No offense to Wendell, but he’s just not King of the Lab material.
As for what, exactly, the described sex act is… we’ll have to wait until someone makes the inevitable porn parody of “Bones” to find out. We’re sure they’ll have a really tough time putting a creative spin on the title.
There’s bad luck, and then there’s finding out you’re cancer-free and allowed to “travel, and sleep with exotic women in exotic places” … right before a freak earthquake causes you to brain yourself on a subway rail and die.
Alanis Morissette would call that irony. She’d be wrong, but that’s not the point.
When Sweets witnesses the tragic death of the cancer survivor sitting beside him on the Metrorail, he takes it as a wake-up call. In the haze of post-traumatic meltdown, it seems like Sweets is about to fly the coop and dump Daisy in favor of living a life of adventure.
We were so charmed to realize that for Sweets, Daisy is the equivalent of exotic women and exotic places. Awwww. They may be the most awkward couple in history, and we may kind of want to vomit every time she calls him Lancelot, but when he proposed to her, our cold black hearts melted.
Booth & Brennan:
Okay, okay. So maybe our cold black hearts actually melted a long time ago when it comes to Bones and Booth. Riku, a reporter from Japan, shadows Brennan in the field to gather material for a profile about the popular writer. Riku (who could really benefit from a recording device, by the way – her hands must have been exhausted from taking all those notes) was more of a fangirl than a journalist, though.
Not that we’d know anything about that.
She tracked Bones and Booth obsessively, drawing comparisons between them and Bones’ fictional lovers, Kathy and Agent Andy. Despite everyone’s insistence that the books are fictional, and not based on actual people in the lab, Riku isn’t swayed.
Odds & Ends:
- “You seem to know your poop.” When in doubt, go for the poop joke.
- Hodgins was extra-smooth once he realized that Angela still fantasizes about ‘that thing’ he does. “My advice? Only sleep with guys that can’t read. Because otherwise, you’ll never be rid of me.”
- We love Hodgins covering his ears to avoid book spoilers. Snape kills Dumbledore, Hodgins. Whoops!
- John Francis Daley was showcased really well in this episode. Sweets can be a little bit one note – just a lot of exasperation – but tonight he got to display a range of emotions and Daley really shined.
- “Hey! Those are my photographs from when Dr. Hodgins and I went to find the rat poop.” “Let’s not get emotional, Miss Wick.”
Are you excited for next week’s David Boreanaz-directed 100th episode? Did pg. 187 meet your expectations? Let us know in the comments below!
Photo credit: FOX