bones 918 carrot in the kudzu fox recap 'Bones' Season 9, episode 18: Veggie puns and a one man band in 'The Carrot in the Kudzu'

Sometimes it’s hard to keep a straight face when pursuing a murder mystery. The “Bones” episode, “The Carrot in the Kudzu,” has that problem in spades. That’s kind of what happens when a philandering children’s performer gets found dead, providing food for kudzu.

Dead carrot

The victim’s name is Joe Starkle, and he is the creator of a children’s show called “Vegeta-Bills.” It’s about a bunch of singing and dancing vegetables (except the corn — that’s not a vegetable), all of whom are named Bill. Although Joe started the show with his brother, he had left recently to start up a new program, “Mirthquake Village.”

Children’s entertainment really is in a sad state these days, isn’t it?

Another sad thing is murder, even if this investigation is mostly funny. It turns out that dressing up like a carrot was a big turn-on for all the mommies out there. Joe made the most of this, sleeping with all sorts of people — including his sister-in-law.

Strangely, it isn’t the sister-in-law or the brother who is guilty. It is instead a super-fan. She had watched the show with her son and credited the positive health messages with massive weight loss. This strange, sad woman was so obsessed with Joe that she Twitter-stalked him and then went to surprise him at the set one day.

It’s just too bad that Joe had a serious heart condition — one that he didn’t treat because the drugs caused impotence — and died when the fan honked her horn unexpectedly. When she couldn’t revive Joe, the lady panicked and dumped the body in the kudzu.

Is this involuntary manslaughter or just a case of not eating your veggies?

Watch out, ’50 Shades of Grey’!

Brennan is no longer the only published fiction author at the Jeffersonian — Clark Edison has written a book. It is apparently an awful book too, filled with excessive descriptions of death and titled “Murder Made Me Do It.”

But no one can bear to tell Clark how bad his writing is. That’s why it’s especially surprising that he manages to sell the thing on his first try. People do like garbage at times, don’t they?

OMG, Christine is all grown-up!

Fans of “Bones” haven’t seen little Christine for awhile. It may have been a longer while than we thought too, because the little girl now appears to be about six at her birthday party. Hodgins’ and Angela’s son, Michael-Vincent, is also impressively aged.

Wasn’t Hodgins just talking about the kid pooping in a baby-ish fashion last week?

However incredibly aged these children suddenly are, the important point is that Christine gets a birthday. Booth is very determined about this, because his drunk father rarely did anything for young Seeley except throw birthday parties. Brennan, on the other hand, isn’t much interested because she never had parties as a kid.

This is because Max wanted to keep a low profile or something. Oh, and he still has secrets that may or may not be divulged at a later date.

For Christine though, Booth gets a one-man band to come to the park and then dons the suit himself when Ronnie the performer turns out to be too old or too drunk to do his thing. The whole thing devolves into a game of tag in which Christine plays with her parents while all the other kids just kind of stand there.

We’ll just hope they joined in soon, or else this is going to be a bust of a party.

Posted by:Laurel Brown