I was especially happy to see Zooey Deschanel on the show, since she’s adorable, she’s vegan too, and most importantly she’s half of the band that put out my very favorite new album last year. She’s also Emily Deschanel’s sister, so this guest appearance has been a long time coming, if you ask me.
The Case: We start out with a bang (too easy?) as a man dressed as Santa with a bomb strapped to his chest robs a bank, only to blow up in the street when cornered by Booth. Santa AND a blizzard of money? How festive! Booth isn’t injured, but a taxi driver is sent to the hospital and a nearby young woman is covered in, well, bomber, and has to be thoroughly de-bomberfied before she can shower, in case she has evidence on her. GROSS.
Seems the bomb was triggered from afar, on a radio frequency used by an anti-capitalist, anti-government speechifier who, unsurprisingly, is all talk. The bomb was actually locked to Holden, an exterminator, when someone forced him to dress like Santa and rob the bank. And by “someone,” I mean the young woman and the taxi driver! Dun dun dunnnnn!
Georgia, it turns out, had bomb-making materials under her fingernails when they examined her, though in interrogation she creepily/confidently promises that she didn’t blow Holden up. Nor did the taxi driver, though his injuries showed that he clearly anticipated the explosion. The explosion itself was accidentally set off earlier than planned by Speechifier’s radio show operating on a similar frequency to the cab radio detonator. Oops?
Brennan finds it “heartbreaking” that Holden’s mom is burying him on Christmas morning, alone. Or rather, as Booth reminds her, “heart-crushing,” since the heart is a muscle and all. And so they decide to go to his funeral. Booth: “You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.” Well that’s kind of a backhanded compliment, isn’t it? “Hey, you aren’t as big of a jerk as people think you are!” But I know he meant well, and coming from him it was really sweet.
Speechifier eulogizes Holden on the radio, taking some blame for his death. Well, that’s not really fair, but I can understand feeling guilty. It honestly goes off the rails a bit for me when he somehow likens Holden to Jesus, because he didn’t die in vain but instead redeemed “one angry, shouting man” who will no longer be broadcasting. Okaaay…
Christmas Dinner: Max is back! And he lures Brennan away from volunteer work in El Salvador with the promise of a real, live relative to spend Christmas with: Zooey Deschanel! Or rather, Margaret, Brennan’s second cousin. Max: “It’s an uncanny resemblance. You’re practically sisters!” An obvious joke, but hey, it’s still cute.
And in fact, they do seem to think somewhat alike when it comes to marriage. Though Margaret is fond of quoting Benjamin Franklin … constantly. Brennan is, of course, Brennan. So it’s no surprise when their first meeting doesn’t exactly go well.
Booth, though, reminds Brennan that a) most of the time you aren’t even supposed to like family, and b) Brennan’s “mania for logic” could seem just as crazy to Margaret as Margaret’s Franklin obsession seems to Brennan. Um, no. Maybe it seems that way, but those two neuroses are not of equal weirdness OR annoyingness. Of course, after Booth pushes her in the right direction, Brennan gives Margaret another chance, giving Booth the opportunity to make another sister joke, admire both their beauty, and witness the Benjamin Franklin-osity for himself. Man, she would’ve either really loved or really hated that “Office” episode with the impersonator. And I’ll note that this is probably the most awkward character I’ve ever seen Zooey Deschanel play. Still cute, though.
And hey, everyone comes to Brennan’s Christmas dinner! During which Brennan finally tells Margaret that she’d rather hear what she has to say than Benjamin Franklin, which Margaret thinks is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to her. That’s both sad and sweet. Brennan’s toast, though, is a little more impersonal: “Thank you, everyone, for coming. Let’s eat.”
When Max suggests that she say something about Christmas, Brennan digresses into a lecture on Saturnalia (ha!) until Booth and Max remind her that Christmas is about being together, and Booth takes over by toasting to family, friends, lovers, family and food. Brennan concedes a hand-holding moment of silence to Booth. It’s sweet and peaceful, Booth and Brennan adorably peek at each other, and Booth totally hearts Brennan and she hearts him back.
Booth and Brennan: Booth got some Santa chunks on him as well, so he’s forced to go to the lab for “evidence processing.” What was that catchy tune Booth was teaching Brennan earlier? Ah, yes: “Bow chika bow wooow…” Because said “processing” entails a hilariously businesslike Brennan undressing a startled Booth in order to recover bomber bits from his clothes. Yeah, it’s pretty clear that this isn’t exactly how he pictured Brennan getting him naked for the first time.
For her part, Brennan cutely invites Booth to Christmas dinner just as she’s stripping him of his shirt. And she’s not entirely unaffected: Apparently, Booth has a perfect acromion. (Translation: hot shoulders?) And hey, whaddya know! He’s got some vascular tissue on his belt buckle. Man, don’t you just hate when that happens? Nothing to do now but kneel down and take his belt off, followed by his pants. At which point Booth starts reciting saints and I stare slack-jawed at what will become my new desktop wallpaper as soon as I finish this recap. Mmmmm.
Aaaanyway, Cam walks in just in time to see Brennan kneeling in front of Booth, who’s wearing nothing but his boxers. Awkward! Cam: “Anyone for mistletoe?” That depends. Where are you hanging it? (I am, of course, referring to the many doorways in the lab where you could hang mistletoe. Ahem.) Our heroes insist very insistently that they’re recovering evidence. Evidence! Finally, Brennan wheels a boxer-clad Booth up onto the platform so that he can question the young woman as she’s being processed and Brennan cleans evidence out of his hair. And then he runs around the lab looking for his pants. Hee.
Odds and Ends:
- I absolutely loved to see Cam put her foot down on Michelle going to Hawaii with her boyfriend’s family, and not just because it was a terrible, terrible idea. It’s wonderful to see the softer side of Cam — the Cam who’s vulnerable, but digs in her heels when it really counts.
- Oh my god, I kind of loved the scene where Lance and Daisy spoke in emoticons. It’s just so … them. I think it went something like this? Daisy: ” :] 😀 ” Lance: ” 😉 ❤ ” Daisy: ” 😛 ” Aww?
- Man, I wish Margaret could’ve tagged along on their case. What would Benjamin Franklin have to say about a blown-up Santa? Something wise, I’m sure.
- Brennan: “That’s my partner, Booth. He’s FBI.” Margaret: “His eyes are too small to be really handsome.” Brennan: “Well, I have to admit…I find him pleasing to look at.”
- Hodgins: “Where’s your chest hair?” Booth: “I’m highly evolved.” Brennan: “His pubic extension is entirely within normal…” Aaaand Booth moves the conversation along.
- Speechifier: “It is my duty to resist you!” Brennan: “Well, I should warn you, he’s very hard to resist.” Booth: “Thanks, Bones.” Brennan: “Sure.”
How did you like Zooey Deschanel’s role? How many times did you rewind and re-watch Booth’s pants coming down? Be honest!
Photo credits: FOX