” season finale. On the way, we get some stunning disclosures, shocking revelations, and a long-overdue admission of guilt. Plenty of fodder for speculation over the summer break!

Nora enters a cantina to the strains of an Ennio Morricone knock-off soundtrack…and immediately starts fumbling in Spanish. She discovers Tommy is on a spiritual journey and tracks him down to some sort of retreat center/ashram/hippie enclave/whatever. When Tommy is not produced for her immediately, she assumes he’s been brainwashed by a cult and calls in the troops — her children. Turns out Tommy is just out doing good deeds, but the Walker Family Hounds have already been released, so it’s time for a family reunion!

Justin and Rebecca
Rebecca is bubbling with enthusiasm as she tells Holly and David that she and Justin are engaged. Holly’s reaction is… let’s call it muted. Or bitchy. Bitchy could work. That’s what Rebecca decides — you just can’t be happy for me! You’re so pissed at the Walkers that you can’t see that this is LOVE!

Rebecca accompanies Justin and the family to Mexico, and she’s continues to fizz with happiness. She gives Justin a seriously nice watch, spills about his getting into med school, and proposes eloping in the village church. When Justin demurs, she gets pissy. But Justin fashions a ring out of wire, gets down on one knee in front of “God, Buddha and everyone I love,” and proposes. She accepts.

So all is well, right? Well… Holly shows David the bill for the watch — $20,000! That’s the down-payment for a HOUSE! — and tells him about the time Rebecca was 16 and sleeping with her (married with children) social-studies teacher. When he moved, she followed him to Chicago and lived off her mom’s credit cards, spending wildly, acting obsessively, and generally making a hash of things. Youthful stupidity, or the sign of mental illness? I’m putting my money on crazy. We’ll see next season!

Sarah, Holly, Saul and Ryan
Last week, Sarah and Holly agreed that they needed to get rid of Ryan, because he’s creepy obsessed with the idea that William caused his mom’s suicide, and that’s probably not someone you want to give a seat on the board. But now Sarah feels BAD, so she wants to give him a substantial severance payment and ask him nicely to go away. Sigh.

Because she’s headed to Mexico in Operation: Retrieve Tommy, she asks Saul to get Ryan the paperwork and convince him to sign. But Saul tells Ryan not to do it. Remember how William went to Reno to meet Ryan’s mom, and the next day she died? That’s not quite how it happened: William sent Saul to pay her off and tell her to go away. Saul was brusque about it — it kind of sucked to be his brother-in-law’s affair-breaking errand boy — and he felt responsible when he heard about her death. Now he wants to make it up to Ryan by keeping him on at Ojai. He’ll rejoin the company to keep an eye on the kid. Holly eventually agrees — but Saul will owe her. That’s NEVER good…

Kitty and Robert
Kitty and Robert fight over the potential separation, with Kevin playing referee. Robert doesn’t want to go through with it, but Kitty is adamant that she needs to take Evan and move back to Pasadena. When it still seems like there’s a potential brainwashing cult situation, Kevin calls Robert and tells him to get down there. Robert arrives in a chopper, and he and Kitty immediately start fighting again. Kitty announces that they’re separating.  Robert gives up — you know what? Fine. It’s over. I fought the separation because I knew if you left, you’d never come back. But if that’s the way you want it, I’m out of here. Of course, Kitty changes her mind at the last possible minute and runs after his chopper. He leaves without seeing her. Sigh.

Tommy and Kevin
The whole family is thrilled to see Tommy when he finally reappears from his supply run — he’s re-engineering the fountain in the town square, which has been broken for ages. The community he’s in imposes silence at meals… and you can imagine how that goes. Charades leads to an outburst, which leads to the family getting kicked out. Chalk up another quiet place the Walkers have been ejected from…

Most of the family panders and strokes Tommy — we support you completely! No judgment! — but Kevin can’t take it. You’re a schmuck, you betrayed us and abandoned your wife and child, and screw you. But guess what: Tommy agrees. He admits that he’s been a selfish bastard who hasn’t paid the price for his actions. He apologizes. He weeps. And he thanks Kevin for seeing him for who he is. I’m trying to change, he tells Kevin. When I have, I hope you see that too. So he’s staying in Mexico, at the spiritual center, to continue working on himself and performing good works. Bye, Tommy!

Walker Family Annoyance Index:


Going from 0 to cult in 2.5 seconds: 1
Calling her family and telling them that Tommy was being brainwashed — without any evidence of that: 1
Neglecting to call her family when she found out the cult was imaginary: 1
Being incapable of keeping her mouth shut at  silent dinner: 1
Comforting Tommy when he finally breaks down: -1
Total: 3

Turning separation negotiations into “Hey, Robert: You suck!”: 1
Turning Robert coming to Mexico into a selfish act on his part: 1
“So much for being Switzerland.” Shut it, Kitty: 1
Waiting until the last. possible. minute. to change her mind and go after Robert: 1
Singing Kumbaya. Kill me now!: 1
Total: 5

Instead of just fighting the separation, he could have said WHY he was fighting…: 1
ANY suggestion that he would retain custody of Evan, when we haven’t seen him do anything with the kid: 1
Just where did that helicopter come from — our tax dollars at work?: 1
Giving up in frustration. He CAN’T be surprised by Kitty’s behavior, can he? I mean, he has met her!: 1
Total: 4

Wah! Tommy sucks! Nothing is fair! I hate everything: 1
That said, he’s the only one thinking clearly about Tommy… -1
Attempting to mediate between Robert and Kitty: -1, and potential sainthood
Listening to Tommy, and telling him he looks forward to seeing him change: -1
Total: -2

Going WAY overboard on the cult thing: 1
Speaking politely and rationally to Holly when she seems sour-grapey about the engagement: -1
Not buying into Rebecca’s particular brand of “enthusiasm” in the church: -1
The proposal. Swoon!: -1
Total: -2

Spilling about Justin’s med school news when he didn’t want her to: 1
Getting pissy at her mom when she didn’t support her unreservedly: 1
Spending $20,000 on a watch. A WATCH!: 1
Getting pissy when Justin wouldn’t elope immediately: 1
Total: 4

Deciding to give Ryan a massive payout for two months’ work: 1
Forcing Saul to go to Ryan, even when he said he was uncomfortable: 1
Being the voice of reason to Kitty: -1
Joining Kitty in Kumbaya: 1
Total: 2

‘You’ll owe me.” Can she ne
ver do something nice and not expect a favor in return?: 1
Total: 1

Admitting that he’d been wrong, been a schmuck, and had a breakdown: – 100
Asking for the opportunity to make amends: -100
Deciding to make those in Mexico, rather than at home with the wife and child he ran out on: 100
Total: -100

I… I don’t even know how to say this. Tommy was the least annoying Walker. I’m going to need the whole summer to recover for this shock!

Who was the most annoying Walker this week?(poll)

Which potential storyline will you be pondering the most over the summer hiatus?(ning polls)

Posted by:Sarah Jersild