Neilpatrickharris_howimetyourmother Here are some of my favorite TV quotes from 2008:

"Be careful Lily the world absolutely needs woooo girls. If there were no woooo girls there’d be no girls gone wild, no bachelorette parties, no Las Vegas pool side bars. All the things that you hold dear Lily would be gone. The souvenir shot glass industry would collapse, so would the body glitter industry, and the stretch hummer rental industry. Tiny cowboy hats would only be worn by tiny cowboys. And when ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ would come up on the jukebox, all you would hear would be silence . . . and ‘Brown Eyed Girl,’ but who would woooo Lily? who would woooo? would you? would you, Lily?" Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) on How I Met Your Mother.

"How much memory you got on that machine". Vic Mackey on The Shield before confessing all his sins.

"It’s my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag. It’s recommended by the department of Homeland Security and Sarah Connor." Sheldon to Leonard about how he was able to pack so quickly on The Big Bang Theory.

Jensenackles_thecw_s3_240 "The X-Files" is a TV show. This is real." Dean (Jensen Ackles) on Supernatural.

"I watched ‘Boston Legal’ nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new ‘Star Trek.’" Tracy to Liz on 30 Rock.

"All the crazy stuff I’ve been doing because I may be America’s Next Top Prophet. You didn’t make me do any of it." Eli to Dr. Chen on Eli Stone.

"I’ve been watching ‘The Wire’ lately and I don’t understand a word of it." Michael on The Office.

"This is a show called ‘CSI: Miami.’ That means crime stuff in Miami. That creamsicle looking guy, his name is Horatio." Randy on My Name Is Earl.

"Oh, yeah, I used my last bottle of chloroform when I was on ‘Murder She Wrote.’" Dale to Rusty on Greek.

Sandraoh_greysanatomy_s3_240 "They’re like the Harry Potter books I never had." Cristina (Sandra Oh) reading Meredith’s mom’s journals on Grey’s Anatomy.

"Ted just pulled the greatest train dodge since ‘Stand by Me.’ Well not the first kid, but the other kids." Barney about Ted not getting married on How I Met Your Mother.

"Beautiful people doing high tech police work, there might be a series in this." Network executive to Nick on the CSI episode written by the writers of Two and a Half Men.

"The whole tutor and headmaster thing, it just feels like a whole Andrew McCarthy movie gone to DVD. It’s just a bad idea." Megan to the headmaster of the twins’ school on Privileged.

"Destiny, John, is a fickle bitch." Ben to Locke on Lost.

Leightonmeester8_gossipgirl_s1_240 "Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here." Blair (Leighton Meester) to Georgina on Gossip Girl.

"Wake up little Jenny. The bitch is back." The voice over after Blair takes Jenny down a notch on Greek.

"The bitch is back." Lyle to Claire about Elle on Heroes.

"I prefer to call her Amber." Wilson to House about CTB nickname on House.

"I always blackmail people when I’m nervous. It’s just kind of my go-to." Wilhemina on Ugly Betty.

"Meredith shut up!" Cristina to Meredith on Grey’s Anatomy.

"I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do the fighting, the back and forth, the are we together or are we not?" Derek to Meredith on Grey’s Anatomy.

Joannagarcia_privileged_240 "It’s a significant level of betrayal. Brutus. Judas. Brangelina." Megan (JoAnna Garcia) on Privileged.

"It’s all behind me now like a long night after a bad taco." Sylar to Claire on Heroes.

"It would help if you removed the sarcasm and the facetiousness. It would help me a lot." Tim to Kenley on Project Runway.

"You are such a moronic jerk." Paula to Simon on American Idol.

"I don’t drink coffee, sir. I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind. That’s the devil’s temperature." Kenneth to Tracy on 30 Rock.

"We went. We learned. I didn’t get killed. She didn’t kill anyone. Pretty good first day I think." John to his mother about his first day of school with Cameron on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

"We only know nines and Walter is a three. Let’s face it, in the gay world, three doesn’t go into nine." Bob to Bree on Desperate Housewives.

"She’s 516. She might dress like she’s 718 and act like she’s 212, but trust me, she’s 516. And her husband, letting her out alone on St. Patty’s Day, if that dude’s not 973, I’m 307. Wyoming." Barney breaking down the area codes for Ted on How I Met Your Mother.

"That’s just it. I don’t want to be the rebound guy. I want to be the guy." Gio to Betty on Ugly Betty.

Jenniegarth_90210_240 "We had a lot of history in high school. Didn’t see each other for awhile and then hooked up one night four years ago." Kelly (Jennie Garth) to Ryan about her son’s father on 90210.

"The whole tutor and headmaster thing, it just feels like a whole Andrew McCarthy movie gone to DVD. It’s just a bad idea." Megan to the headmaster of the twins’ school on Privileged.

"You don’t need a man to have a fulfilling live. You could be the next Mother Theresa or Rosie O’Donnell." Rebecca to Casey on Greek.

"It’s like ‘Fatal Attraction’ all over again. Why’s the rabbit always get screwed in the deal? Poor little guy." Dean when they find a dead rabbit in a witch’s house on Supernatural.

"Have you ever considered using your power to I don’t know bring peace to the Middle East." Wilson to House on House.

"I don’t think we did the right thing Jack. I think it wants us to come back and it’s going to do everything it can." Hurley to Jack on Lost.

Jeremydavies_lost "Rescuing you and your people — can’t really say it’s our primary objective." Daniel (Jeremy Davies) to Jack on Lost.

"He’s a guy. The sex window’s always open. Even when the sex window is closed, it’s still unlatched. Even when it’s latched, there’s still the sex doggy door." Richard to Christine on The New Adventures of Old Christine.

"Only eight of us survived the crash, we landed in the water. I was hurt pretty badly in fact if it weren’t for her I would never have made it to the shore. She took care of me. She took care of all of us." Jack testifying at Kate’s trial on Lost.

"Talking to the Backstreet Boys is time out of my life that I’ll never get back." Trace Adkins on The Celebrity Apprentice.

"No. We were actually talking about our feelings and then our favorite boy bands." Dean to Sam after Sam asked if Bobby and were talking about a case on Supernatural.

"God bless you Ted, you’re reading my blog." Barney to Ted on How I Met Your Mother.

"I would be thrilled for the opportunity to kick you sorry tanned bleach blonde botox asses back to your tacky mcmansions and your loveless marriages, you got that?" Christine finally telling off Lindsay and Marly on The New Adventures of Old Christine.

Jackmcbrayer_nbcpressday08_240 "Everyone knows that the weight of a lie makes your soul so heavy that you can’t rise up to heaven and you don’t look good in jeans from behind." Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) to Jack on 30 Rock.

"I shot my flat screen Super Bowl Sunday." Denny Crane was asked by Alan if he had murdered any of his toys on Boston Legal.

"Oh my God. I thought you sang twice." Paula Abdul giving Jason Castro feedback on two songs when he had only sang once on American Idol.

"I am about to do something very bold at this job that I’ve never done before. Try." Jim on The Office.

"I think I’m marrying the wrong woman." Bobby to PJ on My Boys

"Don’t you see we’re the same. Stop trying to fight it." Chuck to Blair on Gossip Girl.

Summerglau_terminator_240 "I love you. I love you and you love me." Cameron (Summer Glau) to John before he takes out her chip on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

"I am not kidding. Got it a week after we started dating." Jim showing the engagement ring he bough for Pam on The Office.

"She went to sleeping with Jesus to waking up with you. You’re her rebound after Jesus" Billy to Tim about Tim’s relationship with Lyla on Friday Night Lights.

"You don’t screw another man’s wife. You’re garbage, and you know it." Jimmy to Don on Mad Men.

"Is she from the People’s Republic of Cocktail Land." Michael Kors about Daniel’s design on Project Runway.

"I just dropped by to tell you I’m never going to retire — ever." Lt. Provenza to Asst. Police Chief Pope on The Closer.

"It’s a teradactyl out of a gay Jurassic park." Tim Gunn about Blayne’s outfit on Project Runway.

Jonhamm_sagawards08_240 "Peggy listen to me. Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened." Don (Jon Hamm) to Peggy when he visits her in the hospital after she has her baby in a flashback on Mad Men.

"I have internet access and a pregnant sister. I know where babies come from." Ashley to her dad on The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

"This is not the time for petty sibling squabbles, that’s what Thanksgiving is for." Sean to Chief Vick on Psych.

"You’ve broken out of two penitentiaries. I’m thinking breaking into a building isn’t too far outside your wheelhouse." Donald to Michael on Prison Break.

"We had a lot of history in high school. Didn’t see each other for awhile and then hooked up one night four years ago." Kelly to Ryan about her son’s father on 90210.

Johnnoble_fringe_240_002 "Excellent, let’s make some LSD." Walter (John Noble) to Peter and Olivia on Fringe.

"It’s like watching Mary Poppins on crystal meth." Sage about Megan on Privileged.

"Do you have any cocaine?" Walter to his son Peter when he calls him about a woman in cardiac arrest on Fringe.

"The only thing better than a cow is a human, unless you need milk then you need a cow." Walter to Peter and Olivia on Fringe.

"We’re not friends anymore House. I’m not sure we ever were." Wilson to House on House.

"Haven’t they been sufficient everybody?" Jimmy Kimmel about the five Emmy hosts on The Emmys.

"In case you’re wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you’re all wearing at home. That’s right. It goes both ways people." Jon Stewart during The Academy Awards.

Janekrakowski_30rock_s2_240 "We’re actors if we don’t exist, how will people know who to vote for?" Jenna (Jane Krakowski) to Tracy on 30 Rock.

"Well, there were some funny moments. For instance, I had fifteen to twenty false alarms when I thought I saw Osama Bin Laden driving a taxi. I was embarrassed to be wrong but mostly disappointed I wasn’t right." Tina Fey as Sarah Pailin on Saturday Night Live.

"I just don’t want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance. I mean what sort of place is that to call home." Michael to Holly on The Office.

"Shopping, sex, drinking in the afternoon… dates make all these things possible." Gabby to Carlos on Desperate Housewives.

"Are you going to tell him the truth now or wait till after he kills me and blinds himself." Tom to Lynette about her fake online relationship with her son on Desperate Housewives.

Jaimepressly_mynameisearl_240 "True that. Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to make a stupid ass list." Joy (Jaime Pressly) to Earl on My Name Is Earl.

"I just want to say it’s been a great decade." Abby saying goodbye to her colleagues on ER.

"Sorry Hallmark didn’t have a welcome back to earth card." Oliver to Clark on Smallville.

"Maybe you’re already dead and you just don’t know it. That would explain a lot." Annie to Sam on Life on Mars.

"Stop complaining. Nobody told you to go and get cancer." Dr. Romano to Dr. Greene in a flashback on ER.

Stevecarell_theoffice_240 "Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long. Certainly not for the paycheck. Because I could make more money as a doctor or a professional athlete." Michael (Steve Carell) on The Office.

"She’s like a human Macarena. Something everyone did at parties in 1996." Liz about her friend Claire on 30 Rock.

"Upset that Bartowski found himself another piece of asset?" Casey to Sarah about Chuck’s ex-girlfriend being back in his life on Chuck.

"No basic demolition is what we do to each other at dinner after we’ve had copious amounts of wine." Saul to Nora on Brothers & Sisters.

"I hate disappointing just one person. And I really hate disappointing everyone. But I love Burlington Coat Factory." Michael deciding to keep the bonus instead of buying something for the staff on The Office.

"You know what no one tells you about cooking with the dark side? The food is really good." Olive on Pushing Daisies.

Exchanges of the Year

"Hey lady." Mark to Amanda on Ugly Betty.

"Hey tramp." Amanda to Mark.


Hughlaurie_house_s5_240 "I am not giving you cable. You’re going to have to somehow survive on the broadcast networks alone." Cameron to House (Hugh Laurie) on House.

"I’ll be fine on Tuesdays." House’s response.


"Field trip." Sarah to Cameron and John on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

"I call shotgun." John’s response.

"I call 9mm." Cameron’s response.


Fred_mary "I love you like an eight-dollar whore." Mary (Mary McCormack) to Marshall (Frederick Weller) on In Plain Sight.

"I’m sure you mean that in a good way." Marshall’s response.


"Hey do you want to go have completely protected sex right now?" Lily to Marshall on How I Met Your Mother after they decided to wait to have a baby.

"I do." Marshall to Lily.

"Do you want to finish your bacon first?" Lily to Marshall

"You are the perfect woman." Marshall to Lily.


"Oh, you don’t know. I have a husband now." Edie to the women of Wisteria Lane on Desperate Housewives.

"Really, whose?" Susan’s response.


Charliesheen_twoandahalfmen_240_002 "I don’t want my clothes to say ‘come hither.’" Alan to Charlie (Charlie Sheen) on Two and a Half Men.

"As always they say, ‘your regular teacher is sick.’" Charlie’s response


"Casey these are my pledge brothers and right now it’s like we’re a boy band and I’m the fat one." Spencer to Casey on Greek.

"It’s pronounced Fatone." Casey’s response.


"I agree with her, you’re too involved." Sarah to Casey.

"This from an agent who can’t keep her chocolate out of Bartowski’s peanut butter." Casey’s response.

Those are some of my favorite quotes of 2008. What are yours? Post them below.

That’s all for today. I won’t have a column this Friday due to the Christmas holiday but I will be back next week with my TV New Year’s resolutions and more. I wish you a Happy Hanukah, a Merry Christmas and the happiest of holidays with your friends and family. Have a question? Seen a familiar face? Want to nominate a quote of the week? Write me at Talk to you on Monday.

Amy Amatangelo, TV Gal

Posted by:Amy Amatangelo