“Chuck” takes just about all the storylines they’ve played with for the last two seasons and ties them up with a great big bow. Everyone’s happy! All is well! There are puppies and unicorns and rivers of chocolate! Which is why the prospect of next week’s season finale is so deeply disconcerting — there’s bound to be a game-changing twist, and we don’t know if the show is renewed yet. Come on, NBC — don’t break our hearts!
Sarah and Chuck are on the lam, searching for Papa Bartowski, and the flash in Chuck’s head leads them to a derelict drive in. No evidence of spies here! Well, except maybe that hidden camera in a discarded cigarette pack. They repair to a cheap hotel to think things through, and end up snuggling. And then — yowza! Chuck and Sarah FINALLY act on all that pent up sexual tension. But before things get all naked, Chuck finds out that 1) Morgan has left an IOU in place of his wallet condom — not cool, dude! — and 2) Casey is there to ruin the mood.
Casey and General Beckman are NOT happy that Chuck and Sarah disobeyed orders. She tells Casey to bring them back, dead or alive, and promotes him to colonel for his troubles. Which is good, because he does, indeed have troubles — Sarah gets the drop on him and cuffs him to the radiator in the room. But before she and Chuck can run for it, Chuck flashes on some Fulcrum flunkies and tells Sarah they’ve got to rescue Casey. So Sarah goes back in, but Casey — and the radiator he’s ripped off the wall — are out. So Fulcrum snags Sarah. Chuck and Casey go into the fray, Fulcrum is defeated, and Casey snags the fugitives. He’s unmoved b Chuck’s pleas, even when Chuck sees a message — “Tron, 12 a.m.” — that must be from his dad. “I don’t care,” Casey says. Oooh, cold.
Fortunately, Chuck and Sarah don’t stay in custody long. Some Buy Moron hijinks knock out power to the castle (and much of the county), and they make their escape, once again incapacitating Casey. Casey’s having a bad day, isn’t he? It gets worse — General Beckman tells him that yes, Orion is where Chuck said he was, but instead o rescuing him, she’s authorized an air strike. But… I gave my word! Casey sputters. Bummer, dude, Beckman replies.
So Casey goes after Chuck and Sarah again — not to catch them, but to help them. Wheeee! We got the band back together! They rescue Orion, but Chuck sees dozens of new agents appear at the drive-in for Intersect implantation. Roark will project the new Intersect code on the drive in screen, and he’ll have an army of Chucks. Mwah-hah-hah-hah! Chuck can’t let that happen, so he goes to the projection booth, where he’s captured by Roark’s goons. More of Roark’s goons bring Sarah, Casey and Orion up there. Roark starts the show, and Orion tells Chuck to watch. He didn’t build an Intersect — he built an anti-Intersect that sucks all the secrets out of Chuck’s brain! And at that moment, the air strike arrives, and our heroes flee. Roark slips out the back, but he can’t cause much trouble now, can he. Right? Right? Oh dear…
Back at The Castle, Casey spins a tale that Sarah went undercover and used Chuck as bait to draw Fulcrum out. She’s in the clear! And now Chuck is a civilian again! All is well! They team meets up to go to Ellie and Awesome’s rehearsal dinner, and that’s where all the puppies and unicorns, etc. come out. But what’s this? Roark survived, and he’s hitching a ride to Burbank. “I’ve got a wedding to go to,” he tells the driver. Uh-oh…
Ellie and Awesome
Ellie and Awesome are surprised to find Casey poking around Chuck’s room, and Awesome starts to get suspicious. He asks the Buy Morons if they’ve seen Chuck. Nope, they say, and dude, Casey’s a Chuck Stalker! He’s got Chuck diaries, duct tape, chloroform… Pretty sweet, huh? Casey decides to check out Casey’s apartment, and gets caught by Casey’s security measures. When Casey comes in with a gun, Awesome beans him with a Reagan bust (hee!) and tries to fight. Fortunately, Sarah’s there too, and she saves him.
But now Awesome KNOWS something is up, so Chuck tells him — Devon, I’m a spy. Now: I need you to be Awesome and wrangle Ellie for me. Can you do it? Can you be awesome? “Awesome!” Awesome replies. Of course, when Ellie quizzes him on Chuck’s whereabouts, Awesome is an incoherent wreck. Fortunately, Ellie thinks it’s just pre-wedding jitters.
But Awesome steps up the next day, when it looks like Chuck won’t be there for the rehearsal dinner. Chuck loves you, and if he’s not here, there’s a reason. And there is! Chuck appears with Ellie’s “wedding present” — their dad. He’s not going anywhere ever again, Papa Bartowski says. Awww.
The Buy Morons
Emmett is power-mad — he has Big Mike’s fish removed! — and he decides that Morgan has to become his Ass Man (um, we’re reasonably sure he means Assistant Manager.) Morgan he keeps bowing to Emmett’s wishes in a bid to protect his friends. His friends don’t particularly appreciate it — they think he’s a stooge.
Finally, Anna gets through to him — why do you care so much about the store? Don’t you have something else you want to do? Morgan confesses his fondest wish: He wants to become a Benihana chef in Hawaii. And by the end of the episode, he’s finally had enough. He strips himself of his Buy More apparel, quits on Emmett, and carries Anna out of the store a la Officer and a Gentleman — for a few yards. The Buy Morons see him out with slow, respectful claps. Emmett is vanquished.
Speaking of morons…
So, the word on the street is that Chuck is on the bubble. Josh Schwartz tells the New York Times that he has no clue whether the show’s coming back. This is unacceptable. I watch a LOT of TV — because hey, this is my job. This means I’m sometimes watching TV I don’t necessarily care about one way or the other, and that recreational TV tends to fall by the wayside. I always watch Chuck, whether I’m covering it or not. Heck, Chuck is one of the shows I’d pay to watch. Keep Chuck alive, NBC! If you don’t, you’re dumber than Jeff, Lester and Emmett combined. And that, my friends, is all kinds of dumb.