Everything you ever wanted to know about Chuck Lorre is in his vanity cards at the end of the producer’s shows.

And apparently everything you ever wanted to know about Ben Affleck‘s genitals is in Monday’s (Jan. 27) vanity card for “Mike & Molly” and “Mom” (Lorre occasionally uses the same card for the two shows). There is actually a reason for this.

At the 2014 Producers Guild Awards, Lorre used part of his time on stage to make a joke about having gone to the bathroom, where he met up with Affleck. The story went that the two men stood side-by-side at the urinals.

“Yes, I peeked,” Lorre says in his speech. “And yes, Comic-Con, he can play Batman.”

Based on Affleck’s follow-up, the movie star wasn’t actually in the room for the joke, something he felt bad to have missed. “Whoever you are, God bless you. Spread the word!” Affleck exclaims in his own speech.

The whole thing has every indication of a joke, but Lorre has had enough experience with controversy to want to set the record straight. Also, Lorre has vanity cards and therefore the perfect venue to explain himself.

Check out some of the vanity card’s highlights below or go here for the full text.

“Not that it really matters, but the joke I made at the Producers Guild Awards regarding Ben Affleck’s genitals being of sufficient size to fill the caped crusader’s codpiece was just that, a joke. I’ve never met Mr. Affleck in or out of a men’s room. Nor am I in the habit of peeking at another guy’s junk while standing at a urinal … It was only when I thought of Mr. Affleck that it finally hit me. If I’m going to make up stuff about another man’s penis, why not go positive? … While the joke did score at the PGA event, it got way too much traction afterward. Which is why I now feel the need to set the record straight. You want to know if Affleck is man enough to be Bruce Wayne? Ask his wife. Or, if you’re feeling man enough, rent ‘Daredevil.’ On Blu-ray.”

Posted by:Laurel Brown