Cory Feldman has a new music video for for a song he recorded. You’re probably dying to watch it, be be warned: There are some things that cannot be taken back. This is one of them. Once you see the video, it will be burned into your brain forever.
That’s a problem, because it’s just terrible. The song is called “Ascension Millennium” and who knows what it’s about, but the video consists of Feldman dressing like (and pretending to be) Michael Jackson while surrounded by women in lingerie. He also seems to be heavily promoting an energy drink called Neon. There’s even a cameo by Sean Astin for some reason, who is showing Corey a treasure map and using an asthma inhaler, in a nod to “The Goonies.”
The video, which is described as a “day in the life adventure” also finds Feldman in the middle of a living room dance party, being served dinner by a personal chef and performing with his band in front of a green screen. It ends like it begins, Corey in bed with yet another scantily clad woman.
The best part of this horrible experience? Corey says it’s “the first in a series of silly lol Vids about my Remastered series.” You’d better be ready for more.
Posted by:Chris E. Hayner

Chris E. Hayner is equal parts nerd, crazy person and coffee. He watches too much TV, knows more about pro wrestling than you do and remembers every single show from the TGIF lineup. You may have seen him as a pro-shark protester in "Sharknado 3." His eventual memoir will be called "You're Wrong, Here's Why..." TV words to live by: "I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing."