brooke burke dwts 320 'Dancing With The Stars' recap: Can't Stand Losing You“Dancing With the Stars”  opens with a song from Santana: “Oye Como Va” …The dancers during this song (first pro number of the season) are Maks and Cheryl, Tony and Kym, and Corky (?) and Anna. Bleh. No more Corky. We get that he was World Grand Champion of Everything at one point but he’s gross. Not because he’s old; We would love to see Len or Bruno dance, for example. We just think his routines are always in poor taste. We look forward to another season where there are no ladies of a certain age that require Corky’s services. Ew, we just grossed ourselves out. Maks choreographed this number, so we wonder if Karina will get to do any pro numbers this season or not?

Next is yet another recap of the previous night’s antics, where we learn that the Hoff, Margaret Cho, the Situation, and Michael Bolton are at the bottom of the pack, and Brandy and Jennifer Grey were at the top of the leader board. It’s quite disconcerting to hear Jennifer Grey’s voice coming from that unrecognizable face.WeI feel badly that she had botched plastic surgery and all, but it’s weird.

The four lowest-scoring couples are on stage to learn who’s safe and who’s not. The first safe couple is Michael and Chelsie. The second safe couple is Margaret and Louis. Wow. We really thought she would go home, but she must have corralled her Twitter army. And her gays. And the overlap between those two groups, which we’re sure is considerable. So the Situation and the Hoff are still in jeopardy.

Adam Carolla is back to do a bit about various dances from around the world. We’re sorry, but we’re still impressed with his unicycle riding. He starts by joking that the jive variations (like Carolina Shag) were all named after Hasselhoff’s ’80s hair styles. It’s a good joke. There are some other semi-amusing jokes, but I’m kind of impressed by the production values. He totally makes a gay joke about Bruno that we’re surprised slipped through, and kind of implies that the other male dancers are gay too. Hmm. we wonder if Adam negotiated to get final cut on the bit or something. Anyway. It was at least better than the “funny” bits the show usually puts together.

Here’s Daughtry. He’s singing a song. His music isn’t my bag, but he’s decent. The pros this time out are probably from SYTYCD, because we don’t recognize them.

Brooke is backstage with the top four stars (Brandy, Kyle, Rick, and Jennifer). Brooke interviews them, so you can guess how interesting that is. Read: not very. Here’s a shocker — none of them want to go home and they vow to keep improving.

Those four couples head out to the stage to find out if they are safe or still in jeopardy. The first safe couple is…Jennifer and Derek, the high scorers, so no shocker. Also returning next week are Rick and Cheryl. So Brandy and Kyle are still in jeopardy.

Santana returns with guest vocalist India.Arie to perform “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” We hate when people have punctuation in their names. What’s up with that period in the middle? What is the point? Karina and Louis come out to dance the rumba to this song. It’s a lovely routine. We’ve really turned around on Louis over the years. He used to bug me. Maybe we just like him more in comparison with Mark and even Derek.

Brooke does some more useless interviews backstage. Can’t they get someone to write interesting questions? And teach Brooke to recognize when someone is done answering a question so she doesn’t just stand there frozen with her mike in Bristol’s face when Bristol is clearly done talking.

Clip package of the stars meeting each other and bonding …

Photo credit: ABC

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