hines ward finale surgery story 'Dancing With The Stars' recap: PerfectTom and Brooke reminds us that it’s the finals and then introduce the couples. And then it’s that thing where one of the judges visits each couple to give them advice. Do they need advice at this point? They made it to the finals. Shouldn’t they just do more of the same?

Carrie Ann is going in to see Mark and Chelsea, and the judges have assigned them the samba. Why the samba? Who knows? It’s not like the show is going to explain it! Anyway, Carrie Ann tells Chelsea that her last samba was a little too perky, and they want this one to be more sensual. She shows Chelsea what she means, and Chelsea seems to get it. Will she take these lessons with her during her routine? Um, sort of? I dig the ’60s vibe of the routine, and Mark throws in some weird Watusi moves that are a little out of place. How about a samba roll or two? Throw Len a bone? It’s well-executed, as always, and Mark doesn’t pull focus as much as usual, but it’s kind of boring for a finals dance. I don’t like the ending, where Mark is kneeling and Chelsea is lying on his lap and Mark looks around at the crowd like, “Aren’t I awesome?” while poor Chelsea is just hanging there.

Len thought it was great overall, although he wasn’t “overly keen on the flailing arms section.” Me neither. Bruno thought it was a firecracker of a samba, and Carrie Ann calls it “hot hot hot.” Eh. I would give it a 9, because as I said, it was executed well. It was just missing that extra bit. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9, and Bruno 10. I just realized one of the things that turned me off in that dance is that Mark’s wearing an open shirt and his gross pasty chest put me off my feed.

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