The first result show of this season’s Dancing with the Stars was resplendent with glorious, meaningless filler…just like always. Except I was slightly interested in it for a change. It’s a Christmas miracle! Now if only host Tom Bergeron would stop yelling at me during the intro…
Turn away if you don’t want spoilers…
First, the coveted encore performance unsurprisingly went to Sabrina and Mark. Seeing them again really solidified my favoritism. I mean, this girl is really good. If I didn’t know any better, I might think she was one of the pros. I also think Mark is a cutie – way to pop that booty.
So, on to the filler! Dolly Parton was the musical guest du’jour. Man, does she have a big rack. I mean, it still amazes me every time I see her. Yes, she talented and awesome, but not commenting on her boobs is like not talking about how hot it is while being stranded in the desert.
Savion Glover came out with his comparatively weak-sauce fellow tappers. I’m not saying they’re not good, I’m just saying it’s Savion Glover. Recognize. Also, in the intro, Tom mentioned Glover is the first of the "Stars of Dance" to be featured this season. Oooooooo! I guess Fox won’t let any of the SYTYCD kids/choreographers appear, huh?
The infamous Kenny Mayne did a ridiculous taped segment on the supposed History of Dance. It was actually funny. He’s much better at the jokes then the dancing.
So, the big surprise of the night was that there was a bottom two instead of a bottom three – the lowest total from each night. I called Josie as being in there, and I was right. Mark was the guy to be put under the glaring red light of doom. (Floyd was the last one to learn he was safe…so I proudly say I called it.)
And Josie is out. I feel bad for her because she was the only one the judges were actually mean to and she really was trying. She seemed like a good enough egg. I also shed a tear for Alec. The first season champ has been unceremoniously booted first these last two seasons.
Just to twist the knife a little, the house band plays "Drive" by The Cars ("Who’s gonna drive you home….tonight?") as a single tear falls to the ground…
Next Week: Mambo and the Quick Step! Woo!