At Zap2it, we watch a lot of daytime TV in our quest to bring you the medium’s finest possible coverage. In recent weeks, that means we’ve sat through a lot of pre-Halloween coverage, allowing me to come to two major conclusions: First, I miss trick-or-treating. And second, clingy parents over-costuming their small children is just freaky.
Rachael Ray kicked things off for us over a week ago with a segment on homemade costumes made from "leftover disposables," which is a cute way of saying "Costumes You Can Make From Garbage." I was OK with the Lollipop and Candy Girl whose outfit was made from wrapping paper and plastic catering trays, but by the time they got to the Hula Girl dressed in cupcake wrappers and the Hobo covered in egg shells and coffee grounds, I was just yearning for the days when dressing up for Halloween meant popping in my fake fangs, strapping on a cape and yelling "I’m Dracula, suckas. Gimme some candy!"
But at least the Rachael Ray models were old enough to hypothetically protest. On Thursday (Oct. 19) morning’s Martha, Ms. Stewart introduced audience to the latest in Halloween decoration — baby dressing. Who wouldn’t want to give candy to an infant dressed like Freddy Krueger?
Actually, a Baby Jason Voorhees would be kind of wicked cool. Instead, though, Martha’s game is dressing infants up like food. There’s a baby turkey and a baby lemon meringue pie and a baby lobster. Leave it to Martha Stewart to take "A Modest Proposal" one step too far. Jonathan Swift never imagined serving the poor a baby sticking out of an apple pie (complete with a knife to slice itself) or the other baby squirming desperately out of a turkey’s butt.
Interestingly, the unsung star of the segment was the one infant with the common sense to disdain being transformed into a trussed side-dish. Wee Sonya Abigail Lasser (pictured), age four-months, was supposed to become a tossed salad. With parents Josh, a Martha production coordinator, and Amishi, taking a one-year maternity break before beginning her medical residency, standing on the side smiling with pride, Sonya refused to don her costume and wailed in discontent.
"Caesar salad baby — that’s Sonya — is having a little bit of a hard time being a Caesar salad," Stewart said, fit to be tied. "She really wanted to be a pie."
No. She’d probably just rather be a princess or a vampire or a Bond Girl or perhaps just a baby for a little while longer. And we at Zap2it salute her innocence and independence (and not just because I was the best man in her parents’ wedding).
Dressing babies as food… Crazy cool, or just plain crazy?