In a chat with TV Squad, "Rescue Me" star Denis Leary lit into some of today's top news-making celebrities, Susan Boyle, Jon and Kate Gosselin, and Spencer and Heidi Pratt.
On Susan Boyle:
"I think she’s a hobbit. The no-expectations aspect was fantastic. I kind of wanted her to be the person who not only could sing but was gonna [speak her mind] and would become the new sex symbol.
"I hope she comes back … crazy, like Judy Garland on acid. I’d like to feed her a lot of booze and pills and just let her sing beautiful songs and threaten people from the stage."
On Jon and Kate:
"I don’t watch the show, but Kate and Octomom are definitely having a battle of the bulge. The first thing I always think about is the kids, because they don’t have any choice in this whole being famous thing.
You’ve got eight monsters, man. Eight potential Susan Boyles coming up. Plus there’s Kate’s haircut — it’s extraordinary. If it were a movie, you would have to convince an actress so hard to wear her hair like that. It’s like an old hockey haircut."
On Speidi "quitting" the show "I'm a Celebrity":
"That is awesome. I’m so proud of them. Why are these people famous? That’s fantastic. Not only do we not care about the charity, but we’re not even going to pretend to care! Man, they’re such morons. There’s already a Baldwin. They should fly in all the Baldwins and just have them beat the crap out of Spencer and Heidi."
And what would that show be called?
" 'I’m a Baldwin, We’re Here to Kill You.' "
We love you, Denis!
If only you were the host of "The Tonight Show," we'd stay up late to watch.