was naked and Gabby fought a dude in a wheelchair. So, um, something for everyone, right?  Riiight. (Spoilers ahead...)

Orson: "A man," it seems, "is only as sick as his secrets." At least, according to the not-so-inspirational sign at Mike’s rehab facility. And since Orson is now sleepwalking naked, mumbling guilty stuff about hitting Mike with his car, we can assume that he’s pretty sick thanks to his pretty big secrets.

So what’s the deal, here? This plot is fairly old by Desperate Housewives‘ fast-paced standards. Do we think that they ran out of good stuff for this season, and are fishing around for loose ends from past seasons to fill out the remaining episodes? Or was the long-term plan always for Orson to eventually go crazy with guilt?  Either way, I’m glad it was Julie who overheard the actual confession of hit-and-run guilt and not Susan, who would probably concoct a crazy scheme involving powdered Ambien, a hidden tape recorder, and naked blackmail photos. And a pratfall.

Bree and Katherine: You know, this plot reeeally didn’t go where I thought it was going to go (murder by salad fork). So props for keeping things interesting, Desperate Housewives. While co-hosting a black tie fundraiser, Bree and Katherine go from scary Stepford friends, to scary passive-aggressive rivals, to scary aggressive rivals (serving someone spoiled dip is never okay in my book, Bree), to scary Stepford friends again thanks to Katherine’s mad pop psychology skillz. But for reals, is anyone else terrified that if these two are working together, rather than against each other, they might actually achieve world domination? Because seriously. Yikes.

Gabby and Carlos: I know I keep saying it, but I totally love these two. I think it might be because I’m a bit jealous of how selfish and self-serving Gabby is able to be, though I hate to admit it. Always getting your way looks like so much fun! I mean, she got into a physical altercation with a dude in a wheelchair over a handicapped parking space. There aren’t enough italics in the world to express the craziness of that. And then she somehow manages to go from leaving Carlos in the car as she gets her manicure done just so she can have a good parking space, to giving a heartwrenching, and incredibly sympathetic speech about her life as the wife of a blind man. Eva Longoria is seriously underappreciated, if you ask me. I don’t know if anyone else could pull off selfish and sympathetic in practically the same breath like she can.

Lynette and Tom: Oh, dear. So Rick, Lynette’s former something and Tom’s former restaurant manager, is opening up a competing restaurant on the same block. Tom handles it the mature way, of course, by throwing a brick through the dude’s window. And then possibly burning the place down. But probably not, since it’s Desperate Housewives and things generally aren’t what they seem. I don’t have any strong feelings either way at this point, but since it’s Lynette’s plotline I’m giving it a pre-emptive thumbs down. You know, statistically speaking.

Dylan: Wooooah. So just when Julie convinces Dylan to lighten up and chill out on all the "my dad was murdered, probably by my mom" stuff, Dylan manages to attract the attention of a crazy, red sharpie-wielding stalker! Is it her dad, not dead after all? Someone from Chicago who magically managed to get a copy of the Fairview paper? Probably not a fellow high schooler, given the beer cans and such. Yay, new mystery! (Or related mystery. Either way, yay!)

So, did Tom finally snap and burn down Rick’s? Who is Dylan’s stalker? Will Bree and Katherine remain BFF?

Posted by:Liz Pardue