Nicollettesheridan_desperatehousewives_240 Previously on “Desperate Housewives,” Edie ran into a utility pole and was electrocuted in a puddle of water. She had just found out about Psycho Dave and she crashed swerving to avoid Orson, who was running across the street after one of his breaking & enterings.

We join Wisteria Lane at the scene of the accident with an Edie Britt Voice Over instead of a Mary Alice Voice Over. Edie dies as she lived, “As the absolute center of attention.” Snerk. In a 4-hour car ride on the way to scatter Edie’s ashes, the 4 housewives plus Mrs. McCluskey share Edie stories. Man, I always get these episodes. Weird.

Susan’s Flashback
The first time they met, Edie jogged by, saw Susan digging through the garbage can and thought she was homeless. Fabulous. They started to be friends but Susan’s Righteous Indignation reared its ugly head when Edie began sleeping with Wisteria married men.  It also turns out that Susan learned of Carl’s infidelity via Edie, which is interesting because that was a main Susan storyline when Handyman Scruggs died.

*Fond laughing, a pithy platitude back in the car*

Lynette’s Flashback
When Lynette was being driven to chemo by various friends, she was a titch homebound and whiny, so Edie (looking smashing in a white shirt and jeans) took her to a bar for tequila shooters and pool with a one-armed biker. She also smacked some sense into Lynette about fighting the cancer because she’s such a strong woman.

*Fond laughing, a pithy platitude back in the car*

Bree’s Flashback
Back when Orson was in The Clink, Edie came to see him every week. Bree confronted her, got called a” red-headed ice cube” (haha!) and then Edie smacked some sense into Bree about sucking it up and visiting her husband.

*Fond laughing, a pithy platitude back in the car*

Gabby’s Flashback
After Gabby’s divorce, a girl’s night out turned into a competition to see who could get more drinks bought for her at a club to the strains of “I Know What Boys Like.” Hee! When Gabby kicked Edie’s butt, Edie got sad about how quickly her youth slipped away. She then confided to Gabby that she thinks she’s going to die before 50, she’s thought so since she was a little girl.

*Indignation about Edie and Gabby calling themselves the hottest women on Wisteria Lane*

They finally arrive at Travis’s school (Edie’s son). Lynette breaks the news but Travis is barely phased. He has a lot of anger towards Edie and Mrs. McCluskey smacks some sense into him.

Mrs. McCluskey’s Flashback
On the anniversary of Karen’s son’s death, Edie tried to sympathize about losing a child but Karen smacked her down, saying Edie didn’t lose a son, she gave him up. Edie didn’t care if he hated her, it was better for him to grow up away from her.

Travis sniffles at the news and thanks the ladies for coming all the way to tell him. Gabby tries to give him Edie’s ashes but he insists that the Wisteria Ladies keep them because they were Edie’s best friends. The 4 women want to do it in the morning, but Mrs. McCluskey takes the ashes and has a drink. While sitting there, the door blows open and Mrs. McCluskey gazes around the neighborhood. In the morning, they divide Edie’s ashes into 5 ceramic vases and give her each a one-word eulogy (Gabby: sexy, Bree: perceptive, Lynette: strong, Karen: beautiful and Susan: one of a kind). They then scatter her ashes around the neighborhood while an almost laughingly-cheesy Edie Britt Voice Over plays.

Favorite Line
[Lynette wakes them after the drive home by honking the horn]
You almost gave me a heart attack!
Karen: Yeah, I’d like to see Edie again, but not tonight.

Well, it played a little better for me than the Mr. Scruggs episode because Edie is someone we know rather than a person we’ve never met, but I didn’t think the flashbacks were as well done as that episode’s were, so I’m kind of torn. I also didn’t love the final voiceover. That wasn’t “Edie” at all. What do you guys think?

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."