prince zooey deschanel new girl best lines fox 'Downton Abbey,' 'New Girl' and more of the best lines from the week of Feb. 2 7Zap2it has rounded up the best quips from the past week of TV — everything from Prince‘s post-Super Bowl visit on “New Girl” to late-night reactions on Jay Leno‘s farewell.


Conan O’Brien, on the Olympics and Jay Leno: “NBC will finally get to show somebody who’s OK with passing the torch.”


Dinah: “Come over to academia. The fun never ends!”

Felicity: “British people are really bad liars.”

Felicity: “Lucky for us, Tibetan pit-viper venom is difficult to transport.”

Lance: “Where’d you two even meet?”
Sara: “Vigilante club.”


Bonnie: “I just want to say how proud I am of my daughter. She is the strongest person I know. If I had a guy like this, I’d be robbing banks and shooting heroin into my eyeballs to keep our love alive.”

‘New Girl’

Winston: “Honestly, can you not see what the panties are doing to us?”

Schmidt: “Prince is terrible at Frisbee.”

Prince, to a dumbstruck Jess and Nick: “Hi.
I’m Prince. So what seems to be the problem? Oh, how rude of me — I
haven’t given you enough time to freak out. You may do so.”

Prince: “So do you like pancakes?”

Prince: “Anything beautiful is worth getting hurt for.”
Jess: “Very well put.”
Prince: “You know who said that?”
Jess: “No.”
Prince: “Me.”

‘How I Met Your Mother’

Barney, imparting some wisdom on two unsuspecting bros: “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.” ‬

‘The Goldbergs’

Emmy Mirsky after seeing Barry’s rap video: “I’m gonna need 14 copies of this.”‬

‘Black Sails’

Vane: “Be honest. Are you as surprised as I am that I’m the only one here behaving myself?”

Ben: “No matter how many lies we tell ourselves, no matter how many stories we convince ourselves we’re part of, we’re all just thieves awaiting a noose.”


Shawn: “Easy there, Denzel. Little more ‘Mighty Quinn,’ little less ‘Training Day.'”

‘Baby Daddy’

Piper: “Here’s how it’s gonna go down: You go pour me a drink, you shuffle the cards and [removes shirt] we’re gonna play a little game.”

‘Inside Comedy’

Zach Galifianakis, about stand-up comedy: “I didn’t want to bring any of my friends to a show, it was terrible. I used to bring homeless people to shows because you had to bring two people and I would meet these homeless guys and go, ‘Would you come? I’ll pay for your drinks, will you come and fake laugh?'”


Malory: “Now you listen to me, missy. You are getting a brain chip and then you’re going on the Grand Old Opera and I don’t care if it kills you.”

Cherlene: “Cheryl’s gone. I’m Cherlene now. And if somebody don’t fry me six god**** eggs and some Carolina fries, I would personally be shocked — shocked, I tell you — if by morning this place ain’t burnt to the ground.”

‘Downton Abbey’

Lady Violet, in re: jazz: “Do you think any of them know what the others are playing?”

‘Late Show with David Letterman’

David Letterman‘s farewell to Jay Leno: “Congratulations on a wonderful run. And I’ll tell you something — if I was Jay Leno and I was retiring, you know what I’d do? I’d go out and buy myself a car.”‬


Frank after accidentally telling Sammi he’s her dad: “Dry humping is not incest.”


Stoke: “So, you guys done one of these [telethons]?”
Matt: “Uh, yeah. I did 9/11. And Katrina.”
Morning: “I did the Exxon Valdez and Three-Mile Island. … “
Matt: “Did you do one for the Hindenburg too?”

‘Agents of SHIELD’

Fitz to Skye: “You’re the least supportive pretend girlfriend I’ve ever had.”

Ward trying to turn on FitzSimmons’ table: “Holo table, on. Holo table, activate.”

Fitz of moving Simmons to a safe place: “Look at her little face. She’d be so embarrassed.”

‘Teen Wolf’

Isaac: “Let’s go see if a paranoid Yakuza wants to add another gun to his collection.”

Mrs. McCall: “Do you trust me?”
Stiles: “When you’re not holding a needle.”


Castle: “Blue hairs? So she was killed by a little old lady … or Katy Perry … Or a Dr. Seuss character.”

Beckett: “I’ll take murderers over models any day.”

‘Pretty Little Liars’

Hanna: “Shana has too many faces to trust. I’ve been keeping count, I’m running out of fingers.”
Aria: “I’ve got a finger you can use. It’s not the nice kind.”


Miranda: “I’ll protect him until he can come back to you. I promise.”

‘Brooklyn Nine Nine’

Diaz: “Blink twice if you’d like me to mercy-kill you.”

Terry, proving he’s more than a pretty face: “But Truffaut wrote ‘Breathless’ and I’ve always considered movies a writer’s medium.”

Peralta: “Sorry the tear gas made you look like a demon-dog at the end of ‘Ghostbusters.'”

‘Person of Interest’

Shaw, to Reese and Finch: “Hate to interrupt this mildly erotic moment, gents, but the invitation advises us not to be late.”

Posted by:Billy Nilles