wraps its second season run with revelations you could see coming a mile away and some that were nice little surprises. The best part of the episode, aside from the tidy resolutions of most of the storylines: the fact they didn’t end with a freeze-frame shot of anything. Sorry if I ruined it for you, but it goes without saying a show like this should never end a season like that.

Sadly, the Spoilers didn’t pick up any Golden Globe nominations.

Previously… Sonja’s pregnant and wants to go into business with Karen, who spots Damien making out with a girl who isn’t Becca; Daisy no longer wants to do porn, Charlie agrees and ultimately chooses her over a fresh from rehab Marcy; Hank tries to get Ashby together with Janie with disastrous results.

Wandering the halls of Ashby Manor, we find Hank finishing the biography old-school, pounding away on a typewriter. After he types THE END, he retreats into his post-writing ritual of whiskey, weed and Warren Zevon. Ashby looks on with a certain sense of satisfaction. Up next for Hank is to get his life back in order. Ashby reminds him that it’s all about her as we find out Hank’s been talking to nothing more than a phantom spirit. So I was wrong… Ashby made it to rock and roll heaven after all.

At the cemetery, Hank arrives to find Mia paying her last respects to what has to be an over-the-top, anatomically exaggerated statue of Lew Ashby. It seems she taking “her” novel on the road, making a stop to say goodbye to her latest, greatest lover. As she leaves, Hank gets a call from Karen. At the bar, she reveals a spiffy new gig, except it’s in New York. Hank believes he’s coming with, but Karen has no plans to invite him along. Hank doesn’t want them to separate, going so far as to suggest becoming a Mr. Mom. Karen’s beef is that he still has to deal with Sonja’s baby daddy issues. Hank asks what his spawn thinks of the impending move, surprised to be hearing about Damien cheating on his daughter only then for the first time.

Working at the All-American Burger on Sunset Boulevard, Damien becomes trapped when a cordial, yet furious Hank arrives with certain anger in his eyes. He claims the girl kissed him, and that he couldn’t find a logical reason to turn down a kiss from a hot chick. Later at a BMW dealership in the Valley, Hank weaves his tale of woe to Charlie, forced to peddle luxury cars to make rent. He could care less about how badly Marcy could take him to the cleaners, so long as he’s happy and life can be simple again. Hank offers to put him out of his misery, yet all Charlie can think of is making the sale.

Back at Casa Moody, Becca is less than enthusiastic of the impending move. Hank offers to let the young one stay behind to mend the broken heart, but Becca’s ready for a change of scenery. Karen gets a call from Sonja, already in the middle of labor. Hank and Karen arrive to find Sonja already in the birthing pool. Julian literally busts through the door, drunk as hell. Hank does his best to man (and sober) him up before the baby pops out. The conversation turns to the quality of Sonja’s private parts, much to the chagrin of Karen. Sonja finally gives birth, and to Hank’s immense delight, the baby is black. He even goes so far as to do the Tiger Woods fist-pump. Karen’s excited for him as well. Julian gets his hands on the newborn, pledging then and there to raise “this black baby as my own.” Trust me; it’s much funnier when he says it.

Meanwhile, Charlie arrives home after riding the Big Blue Bus from work. He enters the empty apartment and finds his scene-stealing role in Vaginatown already cued up. Charlie pulls down his pants, attempting to make the most of his situation when Daisy and some random flunky actor arrive home to find him in the middle of the act. Later, upon surprising Daisy with a rose, Charlie’s shocked to find she had sex with the guy. The fact she claims she was confused by the whole act is even more shocking. Except no, not so much. Daisy suggests they take a break from their relationship, further setting Charlie off. She suggests sex, by which they can rid themselves of the Gus inside her. They go at it, but Charlie forgets to do his helpful pinching, which only allows himself literally 4.65 seconds of satisfaction.

Meanwhile, Hank and Karen have rediscovered their mojo for each other. In the end, she decides to invite him to move to New York after all, thanks to the mixed race of Sonja’s baby.

Marcy meets up with Charlie at the bar. She gives him the chance to come clean and apologize, which he tries to do by utilizing Daisy’s “confused” defense. Marcy does her best Veronica from Clerks to tell Charlie/Dante that even though there were many before him, she lastly and ultimately chose him (and his fun parts) to make her own. To make matters worse, Vaginatown will soon be in wide release, meaning all the money Charlie stood to make will now become the property of Marcy. The boy just can’t catch a break.

Hank and Karen are packing boxes into the car when Becca bounds from the door, freaking out over her lost iPod. On cue, Damien appears; ready to grovel for Becca’s approval. He hands her an iPod containing a playlist of songs they made out to, hoping against hope she wouldn’t leave so they could try again at love. Damien says she’s the only one who’s ever rocked his world; she responds by dropping her bags and immediately making out with him. Once they leave to elope, Karen admits taking Becca with her might not be in the best interest of anyone. Hank proposes staying with Becca while Karen chases a dream in the NYC… because at the end of the day, it’s always been about Becca. A clearly touched Karen can’t believe what she’s hearing from Hank of all people.

After seeing Karen’s plane depart LAX from a primo viewing location, Hank and Becca stroll the Venice Beach boardwalk when they run into the surfer chick that stole from him back in season one. With her introduction to Becca comes the big reveal of her name: Michelle. Hank seems a wee disappointed at the non-exotic nature of her given name, preferring not knowing her name after all. She accuses him of mythologizing her too much, saying she’s nothing but a simple girl with simple needs. Faced with the prospect of making sweet love to her once again, Hank respectfully declines. Becca returns, thankful daddy Hank stayed behind. He makes the obvious observation that life is good as we see the boardwalk shot fade to black. The end to this season is already infinitely better due to the lack of the sepia freeze-frame.

That’s it! Season three begins filming in the spring for a late 2009 return… we’ll see you then!

Another 12 episodes of Californication in the books… what did you think of the finale and the season as a whole? Care to make any early prediction on what Season Three may hold in store for us?

Posted by:Brandon Millman