Dearest friends, we’ve come to the end. It’s the last Momma’s Boys. The spawn of Ryan Seacrest will finally be put down. Will Rob pick Camilla? Will Erica weather the atomic bomb of a secret she must reveal? And will Jojo pick Mindy or…his mom. Break out your beverage of choice ’cause I get the feeling we’ll need it.
Because Mrs. B didn’t pick a girl for Jojo to go out on his big final romantic date with, he must spend it with his mom. They go para-sailing and the whole date is all kinds of awkward because she tells him she loves him about 798 times and it’s intercut with confessionals and voice-overs of her saying how hot her son is. It doesn’t get any better when they walk down the beach and are met by a steel drum band, just like his date with Mindy. He admits that it’s weird to the camera and asks his mom not to be lovey dovey since the situation is creeping him out.
Sitting on the blanket, Jojo confronts Khalood about belittling Mindy and her chest size the day before. Mrs. B immediately gets angry and says that she shouldn’t have to kiss up to Mindy and that he shouldn’t treat her like a princess. Jojo responds by saying he should treat the girl he likes like a princess. Ha! Touche, crazy woman! The icky outing ends with them standing at the water’s edge. Since about twenty-four hours prior he’d been making out with Mindy in there, he immediately smacks down his mom’s request to go in. *cue disappointed trombone sounds*
Rob and Esther’s Favorite Lauren embark on their romantic date starting with a plane ride to the island of St. Croix. Though he made it perfectly clear that he’s not really feeling it with Lauren, he decides to give it a chance since his mom is usually right – maybe she sees something he doesn’t.
They travel to a private beach with a natural wave pool/cove. Sitting there in bathing suits, Lauren tells him that she feels he’s looking past her a little bit because of how heavy-handed Esther has been. Before he can really answer her, she kisses him. So…you know, that really helps change his mind. By the end of the date Rob says he’s finally seen Lauren for the wonderful girl she is, not just this chick his mom is shoving in his lap. However, when he went to bed he was thinking about Camilla and he woke up thinking about her. Hey, if Barack Obama’s our President then Rob should be able to date a black girl.
Now we’ve come to the part of the show the producers have been salivating over for weeks – Michael and Erica’s date. Bum bum buuummmm! Their date takes place on a sweet yacht and both of them are super excited. They talk about his mom and how she’s taken to Erica from the beginning and later Michael asks if she’d consider living in Florida. He was happy to find out she wanted to settle down and have a family which makes her even sexier to him.
They take a little boat to shore and walk along the beach and swim. She tells him that she’s never been closer to someone’s mom as she is with Lorraine. They’re both having the perfect day and he’s really, really falling for her. But as the sun goes down, Erica gets a massage but can’t relax because of the confession she must make. Seriously producer guy, stop drooling on my shoe.
Michael confessionals that he’s thinking Erica might be his future as Erica comes up for dinner. She begins to tell him but can’t, crying and going silent. He looks at her expectantly and holds her hand. She starts by saying she came in looking for a fair shot and finally tells him that she’s the current Penthouse Pet of the Year, apologizing right after.
He’s shocked. Absolutely shocked and can barely speak. Michael doesn’t exactly yell at her but he’s just flabbergasted that she built these relationships with him and his mom and didn’t tell them. Especially his mom who’s never taken to any of his girlfriends like she’s taken to Erica. He leaves her to think and all Erica can do is lay on the bench and gently weep. Seacrest, dude, stop drooling on my keyboard. If this shorts out you’re so buying me a new one.
Back from the date, Erica takes Lorraine to the beach to confess her dark secret. She starts crying immediately and basically just comes out with it. Lorraine is speechless at first and finally says that she still feels the same about Erica, that she isn’t any less of a person and still holds the same place in her heart. She sees Erica both in Michael’s and her family’s life. Giant sigh of relief. Lorraine is going to sleep on things because she doesn’t quite want to tell Michael that it’s okay for Erica to have done nude modeling but not okay for Meghan. Though I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
It’s time for the pre-elimination visits. Rob and Esther are shown first. She’s poo-pooing any romantic relationship with Camilla but he’s sticking to his guns, mostly. Unfortunately she flat out says she will not support his choice if he doesn’t pick Lauren. Nice one, Esther.
Lorraine and Michael discuss the Erica Revelation. She reveals that she doesn’t feel any differently about her and admits she’d probably have ruled her out if she’d known from the beginning. Michael, still looking shook up, asks if his mom had ever seen Penthouse. She hasn’t and he suggests that is stays that way. Lorraine also says that there are other reasons she didn’t like Meghan but I’m not sure Michael believes that.
Last up is Khalood and Jojo. She of course tells him not to pick Mindy and that she isn’t good enough for them. But, he points out, it’s not what right for "us," it’s just what’s right for him. She "cries" and tells him that she wants him to fall in love, just not with anyone that was on the show.
Camilla and Lauren come out to meet Rob and Esther on the beach for the final elimination. Whoever Momma’s Little Bachelors will pick get to sail off with them on a yacht and away from mother dearest. Despite how attracted he is to Camilla and how wonderful she is, he picks Lauren and gets a big, teary hug from Esther. Camilla is very disappointed that he went with "his head and not with his heart," adding he was practically crying in her ear when they hugged for a long, long time and that while Lauren may be sailing away with him, he’ll be calling her later. He admits that he knows Camilla wouldn’t really be accepted in his family despite her eagerness and willingness to learn about their culture and traditions. After about 45 minutes, Rob finally let go of Camilla and a very happy Lauren jumped into his arms.
Next up, Amanda and Erica step up to Michael’s chopping block. He’s really torn and finds it ironic that instead of the medical student, Lorraine wants him to pick the Penthouse Pet. He doesn’t know which way to go but not knowing what Amanda’s skeleton is might be the deal breaker. Or not. Because he chooses Amanda. She believes that the choice was made based on their connection while Erica thinks it was the big revelation that sunk her. I agree with Erica.
And finally…poor, poor Jojo. He’s met on the beach by Mindy and Mrs. B. He has to figure out if picking Mindy is worth upsetting his mom over. In some ramblings before announcing his decision, he says it’s not fair to put Mindy through all this. Apparently she feels the same because, before Jojo can make a decision, she speaks up and says that she knows Khalood will never accept her since she’s been told as much many times. Mindy feels that, until his mom loosens the reigns, he’ll never be able to have a normal relationship and it’s best that he go home and spend time with his family. Even though Jojo is everything she could ask for in a guy, she has to follow her heart and let them go off together.
But before she can walk away, Jojo says that he’s willing to go out on a limb for her if she’s up to it. Mindy’s very happy and asks if Mrs. B is okay with this. She bitterly responds by saying she has no choice. He tells his mom that this experience has brought out his ability to stand up to his her but this is about following his heart, essentially. And maybe, just maybe, Khalood heart will grow three sizes one day and she’ll learn to like Mindy.
Jojo and Mindy hug and she tells him how proud she is. Mrs. B’s feelings are hurt and she refuses to do an exit interview while her son and Mindy sail away, Jojo saying this is the first time he’s been with a girl he’s felt had him wrapped around his finger.
A quick wrap up reveals what happened to some of our peeps. Though each couple got "three days in paradise," Rob went home early…and alone. Mrs. B was offered counseling and politely refused. And when Erica’s Penthouse contract expired, she went to Florida to visit Lorraine who had given her one-half of a matching set of friendship bracelets after elimination. Khalood really should’ve taken that counseling offer. I mean, for reals.
I’m glad Jojo was finally able to really stand up for Mindy, who seems like a fabulous girl. Does anybody not think Rob went home and called Camilla? Do you think Erica keeping that secret from Michael is what caused him to pick Amanda? Any other thoughts from the episode or season in general? Thanks for reading everybody and, if you’d like, feel free to follow my twitter feed!