On this week’s Flash Gordon, we might see a wedding and someone might die. Notice I say "might."

Ooo-e-ooo-ah-ah, ting-tang, walla-walla-bing-Spoilers!

During the bonding ceremony holo-portraits, Aura finds out the she’ll be living in the Verdan village with Barin. Outraged, she goes to see Vestra – leader of the quasi-Amazonian tribe of Mongo from earlier in the season – to get a poison for Barin. Vestra talks about how Aura will make a great ruler someday, without getting married, if she plays her cards right. And those cards involve a love potion and getting caught with another man so that the bond-vow they took will be nullified.

So of course Aura travels to Earth to use it on Flash. Nick is at the house when she pops up (after hitching a ride from some dude in a pick-up truck). She flirts with Flash and he slaps any notion of them being together down. Being the sucker that he is, Aura convinces him to share a farewell drink with her…that’s she’s mickied. He turns all soap opera on her shortly after, professing his love and making out with her all over the house. Dale pops up to see him and, after Nick unsuccessfully stalls her, catches them together. He happily declares that they’re in love and Dale is convinced he’s been drugged, which he naturally doesn’t believe. They run off to Mongo together and Baylin and Dale go after them.

Meanwhile, at the palace, Ming the Flavorless is welcoming representatives to the reception. He’s already told Barin that he needs to control Aura so her being late doesn’t help things. Barin goes to find her and finds Flash and Aura together. Then Ming the Mundane shows up. Barin was fine to let Flash go but now Ming has declared they must duel to the death for the honor of Aura’s hand. I totally hate when that happens.

As this is all going on, Baylin and Dale go and get the antidote from Vestra – the cost of which is Dale making a blood-oath with her, one that involves a favor of unknown identity that can be called in at any time or not at all. Mental note: when traveling on other planets, especially one that has a scarcity of clean water, always bring 24-packs or one of those giant 5-gallon drums of water to use as currency.

Aura, feeling some remorse about the situation, goes to her father to get him to reconsider. Of course he doesn’t. Because he’s a jerk. At the death-dual, Barin and Flash are giving these wicked mini-maces that are on long chains. I’m sure there’s an actual name for them but I don’t know what it is. But they were cool. And had spikes laced with poison. Fancy! One scratch from the spikes means death…or, if neither is killed, they’ll both die. Right before the fight, Dale dabs some antidote on her lips and gives Flash a good luck kiss. It doesn’t kick in until he’s about to take out Barin. He refuses to do so and Barin, under the guise of killing Flash, picks up his mace and flings it at Ming the Mercilessly Boring, hitting him square in the chest. He falls, apparently dead.

But those darn teases didn’t kill him. So unfortunate. I thought I was finally getting my replacement actor wish, but no. Aura switched the poison out for a sleeping potion because she didn’t want to see Flash die. She lets Barin, Baylin, Dale and Flash escape. Now that Barin is a traitor, she won’t have to marry him.

And just to rub it in that he should’ve died, Ming expresses his disappoint in Aura by calling her weak and stating if she were fit to rule, she would’ve actually killed him. The good thing about that is, when the opportunity shows itself again, she actually will.

My Favorite Line: Dale to Baylin and Zarkov – "This is Aura. She’s got to be up to something more than an intergalactic booty call."

Other Tidbits:

  • Baylin and Dale snuck into the palace, on the day of the bonding reception with hundreds of VIPs around, wearing street clothes. Seriously, the guards there suck. I take back my Cobra Stormtroopers comparison. At least when The Joes infiltrated their headquarters, it was a different team of them almost every time. Here it’s the same three people every single time.
  • I’m glad to see Dale with a little more backbone. She’s felt a bit…neutered the last few episodes. Note to writers: no one wants to see Dale all mewly. When she was confronting Aura in the palace, I liked that she was two breaths away from decking her. Not that Dale should go all Sarah Connor a la Terminator 2, but considering how many weird things have come after them, she could at least learn some basic self-defense.
  • Eric Johnson did a great job acting all love-sick. It was so over-the-top that it worked.
Posted by:Tamara Brooks