Nerds need love too.
In “I Love You, Beth Cooper,” which comes out on DVD Tuesday, Nov. 3, Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust) uses his valedictory speech to declare his tender feelings for Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) in front of the entire school .
Miracle of miracles, instead of scoffing at the declaration, Beth discovers over the course of a wild night that nerdy Denis is actually a pretty great guy.
What’s not to like? A nerd isn’t just a pretty brain. Sans popularity, nerds have developed other coping skills in life such as thinking for themselves and listening sympathetically.
But lest you get the idea that all nerds are alike, check out these nerds’ diverse qualities that would make any dream girl/guy lucky to have ’em. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find you’re partial to Poindexters too!
“I Love You Beth Cooper”
The nerd: Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust), high school valedictorian
The dream girl/guy: Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere), cheerleader/unattainable blonde
Why give the nerd a chance?: Who else has the chutzpah to risk humiliation by declaring his love publicly? That takes some major cojones. And let’s not forget that he also called out the Golden Boy alum who’s still dating high school girls. He calls it like he sees it, that Denis.
Check out this exclusive clip from the film:
“Can’t Buy Me Love”
The nerd: Ronald Miller (pre-“McDreamy” Patrick Dempsey), high school student/lawn mower
The dream girl/guy: Cindy Mancini (Amanda Peterson), cheerleader
Why give the nerd a chance?: Okay, ignore the fact that he rented out the most popular girl in high school to increase his social standing. He’ll stand up for the little guy, has an entrepreneurial spirit and can throw down a mean African Anteater on the dance floor. And there’s the good chance he’ll grow up to be a very hot surgeon someday.
“Big Bang Theory”
The nerd: Leonard Hofstadter (Johnny Galecki), experimental physicist
The dream girl/guy: Penny (Kaley Cuoco), waitress/neighbor/aspiring actress
Why give the nerd a chance?: He’s the go-to guy when you need a partner for Klingon Boggle, looks cute even with those glasses and works with frickin’ lasers!
“Never Been Kissed”
The nerd: Josie Gellar (Drew Barrymore), copy editor
The dream girl/guy: Sam Coulson (Michael Vartan), English teacher
Why give the nerd a chance?: The former “Josie Grossie” has outgrown her brace face and is actually quite fetching now, although a little style-challenged. She rocks both the verbal and math skills, but also has the thickest hide ever, able to withstand taunting and the occasional pratfall. She’s also a woman with strong moral fiber, and as we’ve learned from cereal commercials and proctologists, fiber is good for you.
The nerd: Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), photographer for local newspaper
The dream girl/guy: Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst), redhead next door and actress
Why give the nerd a chance?: He wields the almighty press pass, has a good eye, will take care of icky spiders for you and can kiss upside down like nobody’s business. What more do you need? Super powers? Okay, fine.
The nerd: Casey Connor (Elijah Wood), high school newspaper photographer/misfit
The dream girl/guy: Delilah Profit (Jordana Brewster), high school newspaper editor in chief/popular girl
Why give the nerd a chance?: If aliens are going to invade your school and try to infect you, he’s the clutch man you want by your side to figure out the perfect, low-cost bio weapon. Yeah, he’s a bit short, but that means he’ll never take you for granted. Bonus if you have a thing for hobbits.
The nerd: Rusty Cartwright (Jacob Zachar), physics major
The dream girl/guy: Girls with J names like Jordan (Johanna Braddy) or Jen K. (Jessica Rose)
Why give the nerd a chance?: Rusty has the ability to break through social barriers and come out on top even if it means the juggling act between Honors classes and Greek activities can become a little precarious. He’s neither racist nor homophobic (best friend is a gay black man) and is very eco-minded and forward-thinking. Plus, “Spitter” can’t handle his liquor so you’ll always have a designated driver. Kampai!
“Love Don’t Cost a Thing”
The nerd: Alvin Johnson (Nick Cannon), scholarship candidate
The dream girl/guy: Paris Morgan (Christina Milian), cheerleader
Why give the nerd a chance?: The dude designs engines, which means if your car ever breaks down, you won’t have to risk going to those bloodsuckers at the auto body shop.
The nerd: Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi), Nerd Herder
The dream girl/guy: Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strahovski), secret agent
Why give the nerd a chance?: Chuck can hook you up with a good electronics deal at Buy More and wields authority as the leader of the Nerd Herd. On dates, he can spot killers, arms dealers and other unsavory folks that threaten national security and romance. And anyone who’s so good to his sister, giving her the wedding of her dreams (after accidentally ruining her other one), is definitely sensitive to female needs.
“Can’t Hardly Wait”
The nerd: Preston Meyers (Ethan Embry), high school misfit
The dream girl/guy: Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt), prom queen
Why give the nerd a chance?: All you Cyranos take notice: Preston is a wizard with the words, landing a writing workshop with Kurt Vonnegut and moving the most popular girl in school by his anonymous words. And that’s what we woman want, right? A good communicator who’s strong enough to know that admitting to being human isn’t weak. We bet Preston would ask for directions.
The nerd: Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds), record producer
The dream girl/guy: Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart), bartender
Why give the nerd a chance?: He’ll never tell yo
u that those jeans make you look fat because he used to be obese himself back in the day and through his job can give you better access to music stars than your last unwashed roadie boyfriend had.
“She’s All That’
The nerd: Laney Boggs (Rachael Leigh Cook), art student
The dream girl/guy: Zack Siler (Freddie Prinze, Jr.), soccer player and class president
Why give the nerd a chance?: Don’t let that meek exterior fool you. Laney is incredibly sure of herself, doesn’t submit to peer pressure and knows how to fend off unwanted advances with a rape alarm. Plus, she’s got that librarian glasses thing going on … once the specs are gone, so are the inhibitions! That’s how it works, right?
The nerd: Seth Cohen (Adam Brody)
The dream girl/guy: Summer Roberts (Rachel Bilson), socialite
Why give the nerd a chance?: Funny as Hell, but not as damning, Seth is the fastest quip in the West (Coast), can hook you up with fish fresher than sushi from his sailing expeditions and celebrates the coolest of made-up holidays: Chrismukkah. He’s just all kinds of adorable.
“My So-Called Life”
The nerd: Brian Krakow (Devon Gummersall), band geek*
The dream girl/guy: Angela (Claire Danes), identity seeker
Why give the nerd a chance?: It’s always the quiet ones who have the profoundest emotions, and this comes out in a letter that Brian wrote … on behalf of another guy to their mutual crush. Brian may not be the most emotionally intelligent fellow, but he’s sincere, and dammit, we can’t seem to get that picture of him forlorn on his bike out of heads. Love him! Make him happy!
*He didn’t get the girl … since the show was canceled at a critical point. But we have faith that Brian and Angela would have made a go of it. Right?
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