This season, the contestants “come in all sizes,” the show’s intro boasts, “small, medium, and large! There’s even one on wheels, a transgender male, a cute blind guy, an Asian guy with red hair, a Justin Bieber look-alike who’s actually a girl, and plenty of hot guys who are smart, too!”
The Glee Project tells us that’s all we need to know for now, and I’m inclined to agree. Pack it in, boys, it doesn’t get much more tolerant than this. I mean, you saw that Asian guy with red hair, right? Also, file this blandish Nellie girl under “medium.” Aylin is not worried because she is a “spunky, badass, Turkish Muslim,” and Glee has not had one of those yet, unless you count Sugar Motta, whatever that was.
A down-but-not-out Robert Ulrich comes into the room to tell the contestants that this week’s theme is “dance-ability,” which is not a characteristic of a person but whatever. Transgender Tyler is upset because he thinks he was in the bottom because of his lack of dancing skills. That is totally not why he was in the bottom. And I’m starting to bet that it’s a typical Tyler move to just make this all about him, rather than let Wheelchair Ali have the sympathy spotlight. I’m not saying wheelchairs aren’t cool, because BK Kids Club representative and all-around badass, Wheels, will tell you otherwise, then use his wrench and screwdriver to fix whatever Kid Vid and his big dumb legs broke. But wheelchairs are harder to dance in. Also, there’s a blind guy.
Dani is also not a great dancer, but I love her so much that I’m sure no one will care. The first performance will be “We Got the Beat” by The Go-Go’s. As Robert Ulrich hands out the lyrics sheets, Cute Blind Guy Mario gets a special shout-out because his sheet is in Braille–what whaaaaaat.