glee jane lynch 320 'Glee' recap: FurtBurt Hummel finally proposes to Denim Carole, and Kurt — in the throes of an absolute gay ecstasy, natch — immediately begins planning an elaborate wedding set to feature the entire Glee Club as bridesmaids and groomsmen, because Burt and Carole apparently have exactly zero friends and family of their own to step in and fulfill those roles. Unfortunately, Karofsky chooses this especially happy moment to get especially psycho-killer creepy, and when Mr. Schue witnesses a particularly ick-making moment of intimidation in the hallway, he marches Kurt directly into Principal Sue’s office to demand that Karofsky be expelled. Alas, there’s little Sue can do legally to alleviate the situation, because Karofsky’s threats thus far have yet to explode into actual brain-bashing smackdown violence, so Kurt must again suffer in noble silence like the holy gay martyr he is until the other members of the Glee Club decide to do something about it.

New Directions’ football contingent — sans Finn, ’cause he’s suddenly got Capital-I Issues with the whole thing — confronts Karofsky in the locker room before practice, and the situation quickly degenerates into an all-out melee that Coach Beiste is forced to break up by hauling Karofsky off Lady Lips, whom Karofsky has positively pummeled, and still Karofsky remains unpunished. Unpunished, that is, until Burt gets wind of the whole depressing mess, and after Burt demands a sit-down in Sue’s office with Dave and his father, Paul, Sue determines that Dave is to be expelled from McKinley effective immediately — a determination that Mr. Karofsky meekly accepts for all of ten seconds before appealing to the school board, which promptly reinstates Dave, also effective immediately. Kurt insists he cannot remain in the same school as his primary tormentor, so Burt and Carole forgo their elaborate Waikiki honeymoon and use the money to transfer Kurt to Dalton.

Meanwhile, while all that was going on, Rod Remington humiliates Sue on live television by announcing his engagement to his bimbo co-anchor, so Sue decides to marry herself, and not only is she marrying herself, she’s marrying herself — as in, Sue will be the bride, and Sue will be the other bride, and Sue will also be the officiant, thanks to an ordination she purchased on the Internet. The entire storyline’s an ungodly mess that makes absolutely no sense, but it does allow for the introduction of Carol Burnett as Sue’s long-lost Nazi-hunting mother, and she and Jane Lynch duet in a number that’s quite possibly one of the best they’ve ever produced on this show. But that might just be the raging show-tune queen in me talking.

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