Two songs from Wednesday’s (March 15) “Original Song” episode probably won’t make it to the top of the iTunes charts, like lots of other “Glee” songs, but amidst all the excitement of the Blurt kiss and the Quinn/Finn/Rachel teen angst triangle, they should not be lost in the shuffle. We’ve transcribed the lyrics below, so you can start memorizing now.
First up: Santana’s (Naya Rivera) “Trouty Mouth.” Dedicated to Sam, Santana delivers these killer lines in a sultry cabaret style:
Guppy faced trouty mouth
Is that how people’s lips look where you come from in the South?
Grouper mouth, froggy limbs
I love sucking on those salamander hands
Wanna put a fishhook in those lips–
At that point, she was cut off by Sam.
Second up, but first in our hearts: Puck’s (Mark Salling) “Big A** Heart,” a rockabilly backhanded compliment of a love song dedicated to current obsession Lauren Zizes:
My girl went to the doctor cause her heart had palpitations
They cut the carbs, or else she’d end up pushing up carnations.
She stepped up on the scale and the doctor said “Oh Lordy”
If you don’t drop a few, girl, you won’t make it past age forty.
My girl said, “Hey lookie, on my fancy x-ray chart.”
Said the doctor, “Holy hell that’s one G.D. big a** heart.”
I’m telling you my friend, my girl’s got a big a** heart.
When she shops for groceries that heart gets its own damn cart.
That big a** heart can pump some tons of love through her chest,
Then sit down and win a lovin’ pie-eating contest.
I love that big a** heart so much I think it isn’t fair
That your heart won’t pay me back for breaking all my chairs.
So sick with love I think I’m coming down with rickets,
When that big a** heart flies coach it has to pay for two plane tickets.
Obviously neither song makes it to regionals, but we’ll do our part to keep them alive.