Leightonmeester_gossipgirl_240 That Gossip Girl is such a tease. If there’s not going to be any sex or drinking in an episode, I need something. And if there’s talk of brunch, I expect to see a lot more eating going on.

Spoilers served up in a salmon mousse with a bit of beluga caviar on top.

The whole episode revolved around the few lazy hours before and during a huge-ass brunch that Chuck’s dad, Bart Bass, was throwing for his foundation. Apparently, it’s yet another chance to see and be seen, especially in odd attire that’s in between classic and eccentric.

Chuck was rockin’ the gold bow tie with his white suit, but Blair took the cake. Her white eyelet lace dress with bell sleeves was very pretty, but what was with the gift bow in her hair? She obviously hasn’t heard Coco Chanel’s rule for accessorizing.

But I get ahead of myself. Before BrunchGate, we see the Humphreys trying to deal with Last Night. Jenny is worried about what Chuck would say about her and thus seeks out Blair for guidance. Dan is kicking his own butt for his lame wave goodbye to Serena. The golden girl isn’t doing well either once she confronts Blair and realizes her BFF (former by now) knows about her buffing the barstool with Nate. Oops.

Penn Somehow, Dan and Serena end up at the brunch and it’s on like Grey Poupon (which, by the way, is great with a salty ham). Through accident and machinations, Nate, S and B end up in Chuck’s private suite and then troop down to the dining room for less privacy foer their spat. There, Chuck and Dan join them. In the end, Dan pushes Chuck into a food display (Chuck’s Injury Count: 3) and leaves his dream girl behind once he finds out about her cheating ways.

THE GOOD

– All kidding aside, I’m enjoying Blair’s retro-Victorian look. It’s odd, but kind of works for her — that veneer of innocence and respectability. We all know the Victorian Age hid some really nasty proclivities.
– Dan and Jenny’s sibling interaction is pretty cute and heartwarming. Too bad Jenny is too stupid to listen to her brother.
– Dan: "I live in Brooklyn. It’s not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks."
– Chuck is just so deliciously smarmy. The two women he took to bed are his employees, so it’s natural that they should get him coffee the morning after.
– Dan had a Cabbage Patch Kid named Cedric? Ah, that’s blackmail fodder right there.

THE BAD

– What was that nasty green shake Chuck was making? And what did he add to it with a dropper?
– Ooh, don’t you just want to suckerpunch Dexter, that snooty concierge at The Palace?
– Jenny: "Nice flowers." Blair: "They’re hydrangeas." Okay, I know this is supposed to symbolize Jenny’s conversion to the dark side when she buys hydrangeas at the end of the episode, but that was an asinine exchange.
– The parents are killing me. Who cares?
Nanzhang_gossipgirl_240  – Kati and Isabel need real personalities and fashion sense. As it stands, they remind me of Cinderella’s stepsisters, Anastasia and Drusilla.
– Serena is waaaay melodramatic throwing away her phone because of the sad memories associated with it. At least donate it to needy Jenny before going out and buying an iPhone. Sheesh. How wasteful.

For more about Gossip Girl and its East Siders, check out our GG blog.

Was this the best brunch ever? Who do you still love?

Posted by:Hanh Nguyen