rufuslily 'Gossip Girl': Let's get together, yeah yeah yeahTonight on “Gossip Girl,” Rufus and Lily get married. It’s about time.

Rufus & Lily

The kids stage some “Parent Trap” shenanigans and just as I type that, Rufus drops the movie name. Bah, stepping on my jokes. It gets the parents to talk but they fight when Rufus suggests they get married at a quirky inn called the Skylark, a place they stayed when the band was on tour. Lily balks because they had “Welcome Back, Kotter” cups and she can’t invite the mayor to a wedding that has Freddy “Boom Boom” Washington on the dinnerware. I’m with Rufus on this one, Lils. That’s sentimental and you’re a snobby bitch sometimes.

Thankfully they both realize that they need to stop talking and worrying and just do it, so they decide to get married. Tomorrow. Cue worker bees in the form of Little J’s Plastics. Excellent.

The Gang
Chuck & Blair try to double-date with Bree & Nate. Blair is suspicious of Bree, but Chuck and Nate think she’s great. Bree warns Chuck to tell Serena to be careful about Carter. Instead, Chuck lets Bree know that Carter will be at the wedding so Carter has a choice: come clean to Serena, get had by Bree at the wedding or get outta town with Chuck’s plane tickets.

Carter mans up, though, and comes clean with Serena about his gambling debt and nearly married a girl named Beth so she’d take care of his money problems. He got cold feed about the con and ran off. Serena is disgusted. Bree finds Carter and tells him that Beth’s brothers are going to beat the ever-living daylights out of him that night.

Georgina & Scott
Skankalicious is back and she’s gone all, “I will not be IGNORED, Dan.” She blackmails Vanessa with spilling to the Humphreys that Scott is alive and that Vanessa knew all along, so V starts working on Dan to dump Olivia, which causes him to suspect V has feelings for him again (at Little J and Eric’s urging). When he confronts her, she spills about Scott being Dan’s brother and now he has to keep Georgina out of the wedding business by asking her out

Of course, Skanky is one step ahead and knows about the wedding. When Dan balks at taking her, G knows something is up. So she gets Scott to accompany her to the wedding and drops the love child bomb all over everything, after Lily and Rufus basically bite Scott’s head off for interrupting them (fighting, naturally).

Lily and Rufus are horrified at G’s reveal and chase after Scott, finding him when he’s getting a bus back to Boston.  They exchange some impromptu vows in front of Scott and the whole family shares a big ol’ hug.

It all ends with a beautiful ceremony at Rufus’s loft in front of just the important people. Awwww. And just because my heart hasn’t grown three sizes yet, Chuck tells Serena that Carter must really care about her since he could’ve skipped town instead of being honest with her. She calls Carter, but he’s in a limo with Beth’s brothers. Uh oh.

Nate gives Bree the old heave ho and it turns out Blair and Dorota have given Georgina a fake prince. I must have missed an episode, I don’t really get that. Somebody help a sister out in the comments.

Thoughts & Tidbits

  • Glad to see Bree leaving. I don’t like the character and Joanna Gleason Garcia annoyed me in this role.
  • How do we feel about Serena and Carter? I’ve never been the biggest fan and while I’m fearful of the football player thugs, I don’t think this is the worst thing for her.
  • Bree: We’re southern, family loyalty’s really big down there.
    Blair: Like slavery!
Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."