gg apr 2 cw 'Gossip Girl': Wake us when it startsApparently there was a “Gossip Girl” episode on Monday (April 2). But you’d never know it based on the overall lack of activity. Here’s a quick recap of what you missed, although we must warn you it wasn’t much.

[Spoiler Alert]

Dan (Leighton Meester) and Blair (Leighton Meester) – The new lovers struggle to consummate their relationship. After too many interruptions, they head off to a hotel and attempt to close the deal. But the pressure initially proves too much for the two of them. Luckily they get sauced later on and give it another go. That’s when things turn out just right, with a combined BAC of .32.

Ivy’s (Kaylee DeFer) inheritance – In what’s probably dangerously close to entrapment, William (William Baldwin) encourages Ivy to throw a party honoring CeCe. But the gig is all based on a scheme to get Ivy to compensate the will executor, which apparently is a legal no no. This storyline offered all the excitement of reading a rental agreement.

Chuck (Ed Westwick) – In some convoluted story arc to reintroduce Mr. Bass to his mother, we find out that Jack (Desmond Harrington) has Hep C and couldn’t possibly have donated the blood that saved Chuck’s life. It was Chuck’s mom who gave the blood. As mentioned the episode was a snoozer.

Perhaps the most interesting parts of the show were an appearance by Dick Cavett (yes, that Dick Cavett) and a Courtney Stodden reference. But beyond that, we just have one thing to say…

Uh oh. Uh oh. 

Posted by:David Eckstein