Harryhamlin_unclemarty_harpersisland_240 I am so totally pumped about "Harper's Island" and I hope you guys are too. There is a lot of info in the first episode, so you can check here for a run-down of the characters. Let's get to the killing! One of my all-time favorite books is Ten Little Indians by Agatha Christie, so I shall be incorporating it into my recaps.

One choked himself and then there were 9 (summary):
Trish Wellington
and Henry Dunn are getting married on Harper's Island, where they spent their summers as kids. Did anybody recognize Henry as James Stanley from an early BTVS? On the island, folks are getting killed off. Is it the supposedly-dead serial killer John Wakefield or one of the wedding guests?

One overslept himself and then there 8 (key players):
Thomas Wellington
, the bride's father, is obviously not pleased with his future son-in-law and has brought his daughter's ex-boyfriend Hunter Jennings there to crash the wedding. Abby Mills is the groom's best friend who grew up on the island. Her mother was killed by Wakefield and her father the sheriff shot Wakefield to end his murderous rampage. Abby's former sweetheart Jimmy is still a fisherman on the island and has a psycho best friend Shane who hates JD Dunn, the groom's brother.

One said he'd stay there and then there were 7 (who died):
Poor Cousin Ben got about 30 seconds of screen time before he was chopped to bits and Uncle Marty left his mariachi band high and dry as our first real victim.

One chopped himself in half and then there were 6 (how they died):

Cousin Ben was strapped to the bottom of a boat, still breathing via scuba tank, and was chopped up by the boat's propeller. Uncle Marty was cut in half at episode's end.

A bumblebee stung one and then there were 5 (gruesome scale):
Cousin Ben gets an 8 out of 10. There wasn't much gore, but what was implied was pretty gruesome and implied gore always gets me more than actual gore. Uncle Marty's death was only gruesome because the sound guys were working overtime, so he gets a 5 out of 10.

One got into Cannery and then there were 4 (I hope you die next):
Shane Pierce. If he's not the killer, I hope he bites it. What an over-acting, scenery-chewing waste of space. If not him, then Hunter Jennings. What a skeezoid creeper. Seriously, he's not even attractive. He's like some low-level mafioso bodyguard.

A red herring swallowed one and then there were 3 (favorite lines):
Trish: What are you doing here? I'm getting married.
Hunter: Are you sure?

A big bear hugged one and then there were 2 (best scare):
There were some decent startle-scares in the first episode, but I was really unnerved at Abby receiving a phone call that just played "Ave Maria." Now that is the kind of creep-out I can get behind.

One got frizzled up and then there was one (lead suspects):
Psycho Islander Shane Pierce seems pretty unhinged. I also enjoyed Creepy-The-Shining-Twin-Madison burning slugs with a magnifying glass. Sure, she doesn't have the strength to strap a guy to a boat, but it'd be cool nonetheless if she was the killer.

He went and hanged himself and then there were none (weekly death roster):
Cousin Ben: this was no boating accident
Uncle Marty: bridge to tear-in-halfia

PS: I love how the episode title reflects the sound of the main death.


10 Tips on how to enjoy watching "Harper's Island"

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."