- Speidi really wants to take back the Lauren Conrad sex tape apology, which was only issued so LC would attend their wedding. She so totally has a sex tape.
- Heidi refuses to make a sex tape. Whew! "I've never watched porn in my life. I'm not going to start making it."
- Spencer: "Life with you is like 24/7 porn but without the obnoxious charges."
- Spencer: "I never imagined in my whole life I would meet a female as sexual as you are. [fist bump] Most girls are usually just about themselves."
- They've done it in the car, and Spencer initiated her into the Mile High Club, the "best experience" of Heidi's life.
- The worst part about doing "I'm a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!"? Spencer: "Hooking up was a physical impossibility. That was the main reason I had to get out of there. There was no place we could go to get our jungle love on, and I wasn’t about to do it on TV because they'd have to pay us a lot more to show that."
- Spencer looks at Heidi's photo shoot pics, which he had blown up to poster size and put in his bathroom so he can enjoy them while he relieves himself. " I get to see a 10-foot naked photo of my wife, and I'm like, "Damn, I'm one lucky motherf*****."
If you have any comments, please share them with Spencer, who claims to pick up every call at this number: (323) 767-8139. Let us know what you hear. We've had more than enough of Speidi.
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