. Ramsay is a combination of Julia Child, Simon Cowell and a constipated, petulant child who delights in slicing and dicing any chef who disappoints him. So if you like good food and drama with a side of sarcasm, call your friends — we’re throwing a cooking tantrum!

Setting the scene:
OK, here’s how this party is going down — we’re going to want 12 of the guests to participate as cooking contestants. That means four teams of three will come up with their own recipe for a predetermined dish (picked by the host), execute that recipe and then plate it in an attempt to wow the judges with presentation. The rest of the guests are the judges. There’ll be a time limit, and the host will have all the ingredients (and other possible extra ingredients), utensils and garnishes available. Set up chef tables in the living room so that everyone can watch the preparation. Have scoring sheets listing taste, variety and presentation on a scale of 1 to 10 available to all guests.

Make chef jackets available to all participants, and encourage everyone else to wear lobster bibs whether or not you’ve chosen lobster as your menu item. Don’t forget the hairnets!

On the menu:
Let’s not make this too complicated because either no one will eat the creations or worse yet, there’ll be food poisoning. Choose a chicken or fish dish, which allows participants to experiment with extras without making things too inedible. Add complimentary items such as pasta and salads on a buffet.

On the hi-fi:
Rock Lobster by the B-52s, Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffett, Ice Cream by Sarah McLachlan, Red Red Wine by UB40, Everybody Eats When They Come to My House by Cab Calloway, Piece of Pie by Stone Temple Pilots, TV Dinners by ZZ Top, Eat It by Weird Al Yankovic.

The showstopper:
While a bunch of your friends in chef outfits means a whole lot of fun, it doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy a single thing on the menu, so why not move the party to someplace that has Ramsay’s hands all over it? Throw a small shindig at Maze by Gordon Ramsay at The London in Manhattan. The menu is phenomenal. The only thing that could make it better would be if the man himself came out and yelled at you.

Posted by:Michael Korb