heroes-290.JPGTonight on “Heroes,” Nathan “dies.” Except that already happened and this show is LAME. The only interesting part is that Claire runs off to join the Karn Evil.

Karn Evil
Samuel sends Eli after some PrimaTech files at Noah’s apartment. Eli’s power is that he’s a multiplier. Meanwhile, Claire-bear and Gretchen use the compass to find the Karn Evil. Samuel greets them with open arms.

They meet Lydia, who shows Claire a picture of herself as “Indestructible Girl” at the Karn Evil. Gretchen is totally getting the wiggins from the Karnies, but Claire is digging it.  She sees Doyle (puppetmaster) who is totally psyched about the Karn Evil. It’s cute they way he greets her, all “Barbie!” and hugs her. Samuel drags Claire into the children’s storytime and while she tells her frog story, he tells Gretchen that they offer Claire love.

When a conned Karn Evil visitor comes to pound Samuel, Claire steps in. The mad customer breaks a glass and slashes her with it (um, who does that?) and she stands up, heals in front of his very eyes and says very coolly, “You can’t hurt us.” It’s pretty bad-ass, though I suspect we just watched Claire go over to the dark side. When Gretchen leaves, Claire stays with the Karn Evil.

Noah & Lauren
Noah discovers Claire took the magic compass. He and Lauren investigate
and as they work together, he confesses about Lauren erasing her own
memory because she chose the high road. Suddenly, Eli shows up and
steals the files while Lauren and Noah are in the bathroom plotting

Peter & Sylar
Peter thinks he’ll track down Sylar, defeat him and get Nathan back. He
borrows Rene’s power and so when Sylar finds him first, Peter renders
his powers moot. They have a good ol’ fashioned brawl, with Peter
taking a staple gun to Sylar to “beat” Nathan out of him. He nails his
hands to the table in a cross shape, it’s very Jesus-like. “No riots,
no Romans, no fighting, no slogans. One thing to say for him, Sylar is

Sylar morphs back into Nathan and Nathan tells Peter he’s tired of
fighting Sylar. They bond over how long ago it was that they were just
discovering their powers. Nathan says he can’t keep fighting. He
apologizes to Peter and he jumps over the ledge. Peter grabs him and
Nathan says, “Let me go” and then he drops. It’s very “the end of
‘Titanic,’ which is only appropriate considering how HoYay these two
have always been. And then Peter lets Nathan go and he falls, all Hans Gruber or “Saboteur.”  When he lands, Sylar gets up and walks away. I do not feel the slightest bit moved.

Thoughts & Tidbits

  • I love how it’s supposed to be so dramatic that Nathan died this episode. Um, he died last year! Just because the actor has been playing Nathan’s thoughts in Sylar’s body does not mean the character is still alive. It’s like when Buffy died and SMG played the Buffy bot. It wasn’t HER, we’d already been through her death. I wasn’t really moved by tonight’s “death.”
  • How much does Eli look like Jeremy Piven? If they were really being funny, the writers would’ve made his power something to do with mercury.
  • My god, “Heroes” has gotten SO BAD. The Karn Evil interests me, largely due to Robert Knepper and Dawn Olivieri, but other than that… blech.
  • Lauren: Working for the CIA has a few benefits, like water-boarding terrorists, some pretty decent bagels and the ability to triangulate cell phone calls.

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12 Steps to a better ‘Heroes’

Photo credit: NBC

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."