neilpatrickharris scuba 290 'How I Met Your Mother' featuring Barney as Lorenzo von MatterhornFor those out there who are not happily married (unlike me), tonight was a big night on “How I Met Your Mother,” for tonight, Barney showed us his bible for picking up women, “The Playbook.” We got tons of outlandish-but-I-dare-you-to-try-them-anyway-in-real-life methods for picking up women.

What really impressed me about the way that Barney picks up women is not the breadth of the schemes he lays out in the book, but the depth that so many require. Take a look at the Lorenzo von Matterhorn. In order to establish that one you need to build a bunch of fake websites and write a whole lot of fake articles on them. Obviously, if you’re the producers of “HIMYM” you can get your staff to create a fake Wikipedia entry on Lorenzo (they did, and the original text of it was up, though identified as a fake, as recently as 7:30pm on the West Coast, but now seems gone), but if you’re actually pulling it off, there’s a whole lot of leg work involved.

As for how that particular one played out, I don’t know that Barney was wrong suggesting that Lily broke Shelly’s heart (Shelly being the girl Lily meant for Ted). Shelly was perfectly happy believing that she’d been with the one and only LVM (we’re on an initial basis, LVM and I), she didn’t need to know it was a fake. Plus, I’m not remotely convinced that she’s the mother, so I didn’t need to see her date Ted for an extended period anyway. If LVM ruined Shelly for Ted, that’s fine with me.

Now, The Scuba Diver, that’s one that Lily should have seen coming a mile off, but Barney’s long-term commitment to the scheme helped make it credible. Barney set that whole thing up before he LVM’ed Shelly and he only LVM’ed her with the idea of getting the gang to set him up with another girl, any other girl, down the line.

People, that’s dedication. That’s commitment. That’s our Barney. He was able to turn the tables on the gang and Claire (the girl he had on the hook with The Scuba Diver). He turned that anger into affection and had the gang push Claire into his waiting arms, a situation I’m sure he took advantage of later.

For Barney, it is clearly not just about the conquest, it is about the way the conquest unfolds. It’s not enough to get a woman to sleep with you, it’s not even enough to get her into bed in a creative fashion, it is only enough when you can get a woman to sleep with you and thereby prove your genius to your friends. Barney is going to have to come up with some pretty spectacular stuff down the line or he may find himself singing the blues.

The one letdown with Barney’s story tonight was that I think we all saw the endgame of The Scuba Diver coming even if the gang didn’t. I was a little disappointed in that, it would have been better if we didn’t know that Barney was going to get the girl exactly as planned. The rest of the Barney stuff to that point though was so good that I think I can be a little soft on that.

I also find myself curious tonight about Robin and this Don character. Were the jokes Ted and Marshall cracked just one episode jokes, or does this Don thing have the possibility of actually going anywhere? Were the producers setting us up for a long term actual romance for Robin or is this Don fellow a multi-episode arc rebound guy and that’s it? We Robin lovers need to know.

Bits and pieces:

  • Robin’s not dating anymore?!? But… but… but… what about me? There is no “Don,” only me.
  • Most ridiculous play of the night (even more than Mrs. Stinsfire), The My Penis Grants Wishes. Wow. Go Barney. I’m, again, not choosing a funniest line tonight – too much to laugh at – but if I were it would come from there.
  • MILSWANCAs – Mothers I’d like to sleep with and never call again.

The TV and Film Guy’s Reviews – we’ve actually tried The Ted Mosby, it works.

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Posted by:Josh Lasser