“How I Met Your Mother” brought us another classic addition to the dating lexicon this week: The Sexless Innkeeper. It also reminded us that even couples can get dumped – and it stings just as badly. Apparently.
I can sympathize with Marshall and Lily’s neverending quest for a couple to double date – sometimes you just want to hang out with another couple – but I’m not sure it merits the effort they’re putting in. Which is kind of the point. Here’s a helpful tip to wannabe couple daters: when you start preparing anecdotes in advance, you’ve gone too far. (However, endless platters of delicious appetizers – and gouda – is just far enough, so make a mental note of that if you ever plan on couple-dating me.)
I couldn’t believe how crazy Marshall and Lily got when they were couple-dating Robin and Barney, though. How many times have those four hung out at the bar together in the past? Because I’m pretty sure none of those times involved freaking out at an egg timer. Those two definitely have a tendency to get overexcited, so I guess the mania wasn’t that shocking. The crazy doesn’t die with that night, either: Marshall sets up itwasthebestnightever.com (MAGIC, as are the other montages – especially “Cat Funeral,” with the touching “meow meow” chorus), and Lily books a couples weekend at a B&B in Vermont. Wow. I mean, I love Vermont, but I draw the line at haunted hayrides.
Barney, king of the let-down, goes with the old “the Navy has found intelligent life at the bottom of the ocean and we have to go on an expedition to study it” story. Who hasn’t heard that one before? I love Marshall’s response: “You know what? I hope those ‘underwater aliens’ are coldblooded. Because then, you guys would get along just fine.” Awwww. After the requisite period wallowing with a pint of ice cream, Lily and Marshall move on to a new, equally manic couple just in time for Barney and Robin to realize what they’re missing.
I think my favorite part of the “All by Ourselves” montage was when they got laughed at for requesting a table for two. I’ve felt that pain (singly), and it’s rough. Some of us just like to travel alone, okay? I will note, however, that I’m pretty sure Armani doesn’t make sweatpants. Though if they do, that would make an amazing gift for anyone on the planet. Happily, in a hysterical ending sufficiently cheesy for a Hallmark Saturday night movie (not that I’ve ever seen one of those…ever), the two couples reconcile and decide to make a go of it. I’m so glad those four crazy kids worked it out.
In the meantime, Ted’s rocking the tweeded out professor look in an attempt to pick up girls. The first chick crashes on his couch before heading home to Westchester in the morning, leading Barney to brilliantly dub Ted the “Sexless Innkeeper.” YES. The great thing about this show is that they put a name to situations that have thus far stayed under the radar, but are in actuality completely in need of labeling…we just didn’t know it yet.
Even as the new foursome plan brunch, it’s looking like the old Barney may be peeking his awesome head out. As Ted breaks his innkeeper streak with a hot “student,” relishing in his singleness, Barney wonders, “What have I done?!” Hmmm. On the one hand, Robin and Barney as a couple opens up new lines of comedy, and they’re pretty hilarious together. On the other hand, Barney as half of a couple just seems wrong, so it’s only natural that the universe would rectify that wrong as quickly as possible.
- Barney: “Ah, tweed. Textile of the eunuch.”
- Marshall: “We’ll play that one by [points to his ear].” Lily: “Sounds like…” “Marshall: “Okay, you can be Robin’s partner.”
- Barney: “It was like we were on a date with a sad, chubby girl our mom made us call.”
- The poems! They’re a little long to quote completely, so I’ll go with excerpts…
- Barney: “I muffled a scream, and threw up in my mouth/ I asked, ‘Where do you live?’ and she said, ‘One block south.’/ I swallowed my pride, and six shots of whiskey/ And prayed to the gods that she wasn’t too frisky.”
- Ted: “She said, ‘You’re a teacher?’ I said, ‘Yes, indeed!’/ ‘I must have you,’ she moaned/ ‘I’m turned on by tweed!”
Are you rooting for Barney and Robin to stay together, or longing to have the old Barney back?