Monday’s (June 15) “Bachelorette” was humming right along, a very normal episode — until Ian Thomson had finally had enough with this frivolous excursion where he wasn’t being appreciated for the outstanding man that he is. So he decided to leave, and take Kaitlyn down a few pegs on his way out.

He starts off with:

“I don’t think Kaitlyn understands the full extent of who I am, and who I am is a catch — good-looking guy, smart. I think that’s why I would make a great bachelor. I think if I was on the other side of the coin, that if I had 25 options, that it would be something that could definitely work out for me.”

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“I don’t find Kaitlyn interesting. I don’t think that’s something wrong with me, I think that’s something wrong with her. I’m kind of just tired of rejection at every corner with this situation and I want to go home.”

But he doesn’t just take his ball and go home, because what would be the fun in that?

“I bring so much more to the table than any of these guys here,” Thomson says later. “I have a good job, good education, charisma, brains, looks — and if that wasn’t impressive enough, then I don’t know what else is impressive here. I could be the bachelor. I think I am a very eligible bachelor in this country and in this world. I am an enigma and who I am is a gift you unwrap for life.”

“I’m not here to be with Kaitlyn. I don’t find Kaitlyn interesting,” he continues. “Kaitlyn just seems like she wants to make out with a bunch of people and have a good time. I’m not here just to have a good time. I have a good time in my own life. I meet chicks and I have a lot of sex in my own life.”

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He promises to go out “guns blazing tonight” and then he sits Kaitlyn down and says this to her: 

“I came here expecting to meet the girl that had her heart broken and was devastated by Chris Soules, not the girl that wanted to get her field plowed by Chris. And really I’ve found that there’s still that girl,” says Thomson. “I feel like you are here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV. And bringing Nick in — I don’t question his intentions, I question your intentions. I really see you as as surface-level person at this stage. I wonder if you are really that shallow because I don’t see anything beyond the surface.”

That is some grade-A, full-of-yourself nonsense. Did Ian not know what he was getting into with this show? Also, he keeps getting roses! So he hasn’t been rejected yet! But this insecurity masked by arrogance, acted out by feeling the need to take Kaitlyn down a peg and slut-shame her for kissing guys is pretty gross.

Don’t let the door hit ya, Ian.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."