Tvpartyw614 Celebrities are used to getting the royal

treatment: limousines, personal chefs, toilet paper. But the economic downturn

has forced a small group of “celebrities” — and we use that term loosely — to

huddle together in the jungles of Costa Rica in a desperate attempt to claim

food, supplies, luxury items and relevancy on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of

Here! this week and next on NBC. So if you enjoyed Swiss Family Robinson but

thought the life lessons and family love were too much sentimental nonsense and

that it could have used a few more girl-on-girl screaming matches, call your

friends — we’re going native!

 

Setting the scene:

Nothing strikes fear into the hearts

of  celebrities like not having

their personal assistants available to spray them with bug repellent while in

the tropics. Nevertheless, we need to re-create Costa Rica on a $500 budget.

That means purchasing about 10 palm trees, some mosquito netting and a pet tarantula named Janice. You need games of

skill to keep guests distracted whenever Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are

on-screen, so get your hands on some blow darts, a few

spears and some machetes, and have partygoers

test their skills at hitting targets and chopping bamboo. Don’t forget to check

your homeowner’s insurance policy in case someone gets a dart in an unfortunate

location. Winners get prizes associated with our amazing cast: photos of Janice

Dickinson, DVDs of The Hills,

autographed memorabilia from John Salley, a framed

newspaper article on the indictment of former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

 

Attire:

Guests need to come dressed as their

favorite celebrities, whether it be Heidi and Spencer, Sanjaya, Blago or any

other questionably ranked celebrity (we’re going as the late Charles Nelson

Reilly and still like our chances).

 

On the menu:

Jungle fare is a great way to detoxify from

your KFC or Burger King habit. Go with bowls of fresh fruit from Costa Rica:

papayas, mangoes, pineapples, cantaloupe, coconuts, avocados and watermelon.

But just so the celebs don’t forget their roots, add a nice lobster bisque and a few bottles of

Veuve Clicquot.

 

On the hi-fi:

The Bare Necessities by Phil Harris, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N’ Roses, The Lion Sleeps Tonight by the

Tokens, Jungle Love by the Steve Miller Band, Jungle Boogie by Kool &

the Gang, Shock the Monkey by Peter Gabriel, I Wanna Be Like You (The Monkey

Song) by Louis Prima.

 

The showstopper:

While the celebs were likely lured to the

Costa Rican jungle under the impression they were going to enjoy some

“eco-tourism,” why not partake of the real thing and head to one of the most

biodiverse regions in the world?

Posted by:Michael Korb