We all remember it. During the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show, Justin Timberlake sang the fateful words, “Gonna have you naked by the end of this song…” and ripped off the front of Janet Jackson‘s bustier, exposing her bejeweled right breast.
Her boob was out for 9/16 of a second, for the record.
On Wednesday, Nov. 2 — nearly 8 years after the incident occurred — a federal appeals court ruled that CBS would not be fined $550,000 for the infamous “wardrobe malfunction.”
In those eight years, the Parents’ Television Council hasn’t yet had the opportunity to cool off.
“Today’s ruling reaches the level of judicial stupidity and is a
sucker-punch to families everywhere. In rendering an opinion it wishes
to foist on the nation, the Third Circuit has chosen to ignore the law,
the facts, Supreme Court precedent, the intent of the Congress and the
will of the American people,” PTC President Tim Winters said in a statement. “How can nudity and a striptease in front of 90 million unsuspecting TV
viewers not qualify as indecency? We’re not talking about content that
aired after 10 pm in front of 90 million adults. Each and every year the
Super Bowl broadcast draws the highest viewership ratings of the year,
including tens of millions of children and families.”
Apparently, the children who saw that breast for 9/16 of a second are, 8 years later, profoundly damaged, because that’s the only justification we can think of for such a strong reaction. EIGHT YEARS. Ahem.