Daytime casting directors take note: there’s an up and coming actor in your midst, and I hear a rumor that he just became available. Snap him up before your rivals get the chance!
These spoilers made me cry into a plate of delicious, delicious pizza.
After weeks and weeks of weakly manufactured suspense in their live shows, the Big Brother producers finally got a storyline worthy of actual screen time this week as Joshuah fought against all odds to try to stay in the house. Yesterday’s episode ended with him feeling quite confident, having convinced Ryan to keep him in the house and Natalie to then break the tie in his favor and send Sharon packing. When the action picks back up again tonight, Joshuah seems less certain about Natalie’s intentions so he goes about trying to get Adam on his side so Natalie’s tiebreaker won’t be necessary. It’s the WAY he goes about trying to get Adam on his side that’s genius, though. Thinking if he appears to be a weak player Adam might keep him over Sharon, Joshuah goes into full-on crocodile tears in front of Adam, histrionically sobbing about how he just wants to stay in the house and doesn’t want to leave. The best part is that his tears leak onto a plate of what appears to be pizza, which Joshuah can’t even eat because he’s on slop. I don’t exactly know what’s going on there, but it’s awesome. If Joshuah is using his love for the carby cheesy goodness that is pizza to have supposedly "triggered" his crying jag, that’s just brilliant. I, too, love carby cheesy pizza, so I somewhat understand his tears.
Adam comforts Joshuah but it doesn’t really sway his vote at all, and things get much worse for teary Josh when a waffling Natalie spills the beans about their deal to Sharon. Sharon is quite taken aback and this starts some "girl power" nonsense between Sharon, Natalie and Sheila that I am only going to mention in passing because nothing will come of it. Natalie is just NOT going to be in an all-girl alliance, like, ever. Sharon then goes around the house attempting to secure votes for herself, which she seems to do quite successfully. The one curious thing is that she swears to Ryan she isn’t after him next week and was never after him in the game. Say what? If she gets HoH, who will she put up? James? Adam? Sheila and Natalie? I have no idea how Sharon is playing this game. It confuses me.
Next is time for Joshuah’s parents to weigh in on his antics in the house. Thankfully, his very cute mother Darlene seems completely horrified by his rants and insults, and even though she tries to pass them off as "strategy" you can tell she doesn’t really believe that’s the case. She knows her son was just sort of being a butthole. The best part about his package is when Darlene gives a little "Josh from childhood to today" talk that is put together just like the background packages on Intervention. I sort of expected to then hear about Joshuah’s horrible addiction to tanning and white belts. (Is there a tanning and white belt rehab center in the U.S.? Probably in Southern California somewhere, actually.)
Before we find out who is evicted Julie takes a moment to talk to Natalie in the HoH room, where we learn that God talked to Natalie as a little girl. That…isn’t surprising, but it sure explains a lot about Natalie. When we return to the live voting, Joshuah is easily evicted, 3-1. He obviously took America’s notion that Natalie would give a better inspirational speech to heart and wants to prove us wrong, because before he leaves he gives a half pleasant/half self-important speech about how awesome he is and how he wants everyone to be awesome just like him in the game. Or something like that. When people get puffed up like that I tend to tune out, hence my middling interest in politics.
The HoH competition this week is called "More or Less," and is the BB staple which counts things around the house and has the houseguests try to guess if there are more or less of them than the number Julie gives. The most interesting thing that happens during the game is we find out there are 87 pillows in the house. That’s a lot of pillows. I bet you could make a killer fort with those things. The competition is close between Sharon, James and Adam, but in the end Adam pulls it out, most likely ensuring another week of James on the block and safety for Ryan and Natalie. Can James pull out another PoV victory and force the other side of the house to finally start cannibalizing themselves? I hope so, because that’s when things will definitely start to get interesting.
- "Crying on cue is very easy for me. If anything, it just shows I’d be a great soap actor." – Joshuah
- "Sometimes when I’m watching him, I just want to wring his neck." – Joshuah’s mother, after witnessing one of his infamous tirades
- "I’m only mean when I’m provoked." – Joshuah (Well, that makes it okay then! Carry, on!)