Kategosselin_cry Despite Jon Gosselin‘s serial blond-dating ways, Kate Gosselin admits that part of her still loves him.

“When I think back to the Jon that I knew, yes, suffice it to say,” she tells Meredith Vieira on Monday’s “Today” show.

The mother of twins and sextuplets still even wears her wedding ring, but it’s not with any hope for reconciliation, but because her kids know it as her “married to Daddy” ring.

“I don’t want to upset them. While I’ve been very real and as honest as I need to be, I don’t want to shock them. I’ve walked slowly through this with them. As they’ve asked questions, I’ve answered them,” she says, adding that she’ll take the ring off “when the time is right.”

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In the meantime, Kate isn’t thrilled with witnessing Jon’s constant parade of girlfriends, Including 22-year-old Hailey Glassman, the daughter of the plastic surgeon who gave Kate her tummy tuck.

“I was shocked, but those things… to be very honest, that’s his life and they don’t affect me directly at this point,” she says, but then admits, “It is hurtful. It’s very hurtful. To be very honest, the most hurtful part is when his decisions directly affect our children. That’s the hardest part for me.”

Kate says that despite having “more peace” living alone with her eight kids in their home in Pennsylvania, she still often wakes up and feels “a lot like a failure” for her unsuccessful marriage.

Jon will get his say tonight on a one-hour special Monday night at 7 p.m. on E! after taping his interview in the morning.

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Posted by:Hanh Nguyen