Lipstick Jungle is the strangest show. Each episode is packed with plots that move the show at a quick pace, but it still manages to be deadly boring. It takes either incredible skill or incredible ineptitude to create a paradox as pronounced as this. My vote is ineptitude, which is a shame because the lively cast is more than up to the task of creating a fun, watchable show. The writing simply won’t let them get there.

The only spoilers I wear are Louboutins.

The main thing moving the plot this week was the premiere of Wendy’s new movie, Bombay Highway. Although others at the company want a limited art house release, Wendy pushes for a wide launch and a crazy, India-themed premiere party to kick things off. The one thing she needs (besides elephants) is her young, hip star in a great dress. She calls Victory to design something for Hollywood darling Chloe, but when Wendy sees the dress she asks Victory to make dramatic modifications. Even though Victory does not like the changes, she still makes them and basically allows herself to be completely bossed around by Wendy. The whole thing blows up when Chloe gets dumped by her hipster boyfriend and spends the afternoon drinking the entire contents of Victory’s liquor cabinet to drown her sorrows. You know you’re in trouble when you start mixing your liquors.

When Victory arrives at the premiere with a drunk Chloe in tow, Wendy and Victory get in a huge fight at the most inopportune time, right when Chloe sees her ex with a new, porn star date on the red carpet. Drunk Chloe steals the limo to get away from them and crashes it right in front of all of the paparazzi. She ends up in jail, but everything essentially still comes up roses because Victory gets her dress name-checked during Chloe’s perp walk of shame out of the police station, and all of the buzz surrounding the scandal is causing people to talk about the movie. I recall more than a few movies with behind-the-scenes scandals that didn’t fare well at the box office, but I suppose for every Proof of Life that bombs, there’s a Mr. and Mrs. Smith that doesn’t. Also, the Hollywood stories on this show are about as subtle as a sledgehammer, aren’t they?

The other big plot point this week was Nico and her struggle with Kirby’s lawsuit. She claims to Hector and the legal department she doesn’t know Kirby and Hector completely backs Nico, telling legal to do whatever it takes to clear Nico’s name. Tired of feeling guilty and secretive, Nico decides to tell Wendy and Victory about her affair and the subsequent lawsuit. They react with a nice mixture of loving the gossip and hating the friend for doing something they feel is morally questionable. It is nice to see a bit of subtle shading in their reaction. Subtle is good, show. Keep it up.

Nico thinks everything is under control, but she soon learns just how deep this thing goes when legal tells her they have a witness who saw Kirby talking to her at the web launch party (from the pilot) and then following her into the ladies room. Ruh roh! It turns out, however, that this is a good thing and the lawyers plan to use this to form a defense that says Kirby is the one who pursued her and is now just suing because she spurned his advances. They ask Nico to sign a document declaring that he attacked her, which she is conflicted about until she talks to Wendy (who tells her to sign) and spends some time with her husband. I don’t know why she doesn’t just talk to her husband about what is bothering her, but whatever.

She signs the papers, but after an encounter with office rival Mike realizes there’s more going on here than she realized. She visits Kirby at his new bartending job and realizes office rival Mike goaded him into filing the lawsuit by telling him Nico has a history of seducing younger men at work and then getting them fired. Cold, Mike. Kirby ends up dropping the lawsuit after their conversation, and at the end of the episode admits the only thing he really wants is her. And then NICO GOES HOME WITH HIM.  Oh, Nico. This is not going to turn out well for you. But I can’t say I blame you, the boy is smoking hot.

What did you guys think? Is Nico a fool for continuing the affair? Was Victory’s premiere dress fab or fug? And why was Andrew McCarthy even in this episode? 

Posted by:Carrie Raisler