Shiloh’s first modeling paycheck may bounce, Nicole gets wet, Britney hires a new daddy, Jake’s fur problem, Naomi’s baby lust and Teri’s tape addiction.

Hey, we want a refund!

Hello magazine reportedly paid a $4.1 million for the exclusive first photos of Brad and Angelina‘s first bundle of joy.

No surprise that they freaked about a leaked shot of the new parents avec enfante that hit the Internet yesterday. Hello, People and Getty Images are threatening to sue the sites that posted the photo. Good luck. And good luck getting your money back from the needy children’s charity B and A donated the money to, guys. Yeah, that’ll look good.

Perez Hilton just posted yet another shot of the new parents – although without their spawn – posing with the Namibian first lady at a press conference in Swakopmund on June 7th. PH’s next best photos are of an annoyed Nicole Richie soaking the paparazzi by throwing purified bottled water on them. Next time, try boiling oil, Nic. It’s a little medieval, but much more effective.

Star Magazine reveals who the new man is who’s been seen with Britney Spears and her endangered baby Sean Preston. Okay, we don’t actually have a baby but we’d still like to hire one of these.

The Superficial has dubbed him a "manny" and has a source who sez the dude even bought flowers for Britney. Hmmm. Again, where can we hire one of these? And we can’t wait for his Nanny Diaries…

Jeanette Walls floats the buzz that Natalie Portman wants her scrungy new boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal to clean up his act.  Something about dog hair. Euuww.

And you thought Britney was a lame-ass Mommy. Wait until you read British rag The Sun‘s scoop on whether the former supermodel Naomi Campbell  – the one with the “rage control” issues –  will succeed in her evil scheme to reproduce with her filthy rich Dubai dreamboat. If she treats her baby the way she treats her assistants, let’s hope the ER stays open 24/7!

And finally, Defamer links to a British mag’s chat with Teri Hatcher in which she reveals her addiction to adhesive breast boosters. Then they send readers to Kim Master’s piece on Slate about Tom Cruise‘s bad case of the “cooties.” Wait until you read what the suggested cure is…

Posted by:LATimes