Act 1 of "South by South Pacific," our very own "Lost" musical, seems to have gone over well. So here's Act 2. You can expect everything from Broadway classic to recent #1 pop hits woven throughout the actions of Season 2 below. And as an added bonus, I've provided links to the original songs. Once again, big ups to my wife Diana for workshopping/developing this with me. Enjoy!

Act 2

An unseen man gets woken up by mysterious beeping. We follow him through his ensuing ritual.

(To the tune of Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues.")

Scotsman in the Swan hatch
Entering a Numbers match
Putting on the Mama Cass
Thinking about his former lass
Sticks injections in his arm
Avoiding any further harm

Look out there, you better beware
The Losties got some dynamite
Gonna blow your pad tonight
Grab a rifle, grab a knife
Adding to your daily strife
Shoulda made Penny your wife
See ya in other life

Jack: Destiny looks a lot grimier than I expected, Locke.

Locke: This doesn't make any sense. What are you doing down here?

Des: Don't ask me, brutha. Ask the man on the film.

(To the tune of The Pussycat Dolls' "Buttons.")

Marvin: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
Type those little numbers and then — you just hit “execute”
Go type those numbers
Day and night with no slumber
Share the task with your bunkmate (bunkmate)
Cook your meals on a hot plate (hot plate, hot plate)

Locke: The film said to push all these buttons, Jack (uh huh)
So I’m gonna do that
Enter in these buttons, Jack (uh huh)
Marvin ain’t frontin’
Why won’t you come and push these buttons, Jack? (uh huh)
A leap of faith, Doc
Help me push these buttons, Jack (uh huh)
And follow John Locke

Meanwhile, across the Island, Sawyer, Jin, and Michael try to discover the identity of the people that have captured them.

Sawyer: We need to get out of this ditch good and quick. Any plans, Jin?

Jin: English no good until 1977.

Sawyer: What about you, Michael?

Michael: WAAAAALT!

Sawyer: Fantastic. What about you, new girl that won't betray us after subtly pumping us for info?

Ana Lucia: Just don't mess with the big guy up there. Trust me.

(To the tune of James Crawford's "Iko, Iko.")

Ana Lucia: See that man with the Jesus stick
Eko, Eko go pray
Come in the night and he’ll kill you quick
Eko, Eko go pray

Talkin bout hey now, hey now
Eko, Eko explain
Why your brother Yemi’s on that plane?
Why’s Yemi on that plane?

Once a gangster now a priest
Eko, Eko go pray
Silent 40 days at least
Eko, Eko go pray

Talkin bout hey now, hey now
Eko, Eko explain
Why you build a church in Yemi’s name?
Is it to heal your shame?

Sawyer: Well, glad we sorted out all that mistrust and confusion. Know what will be good? Reuniting with the rest of the survivors. Oh, crap, it's starting to rain. Cindy's suddenly missing. And our less than fearless leader's got an itchy trigger finger. Let's hope no one from our side goes chasing ghosts in this general vicinity.

(To the tune of Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun.")

Jack: Ana’s got a gun
Ana’s got a gun
The Others had her on the run
Now she’s gone and shot Shannon
What did the Others do?
They took the children and the crew

They say when Ana met the Losties
She heard whispers through the pouring rain
Although Goodwin had it comin’
Now Sayid is really bummin’
Her survival instincts were in vain…..

Charlie: How's Turnip Head doing?

Claire: Stay away from my baybee, you smackhead. Go talk to someone else.

Charlie: Well, I can't. Everyone else is gone, pretty much. Scattered everywhere. A lot just went down.

Claire: If there were only some montage-esque way in which I could quickly catch up on what's going on!

(To the tune of West Side Story's "Tonight (Ensemble).")

Michael: A right, a right
It is a father’s right
To find his son even if there’s no plan!

Jack: A fight, a fight
No time to be polite
Although I am a scientific man!

Tom Friendly: A blight, a blight
You all are such a blight
You people are not worthy of my clan!

Kate: In spite, in spite
Of what they said tonight
I’ll go though no-one says that I can!

Ben: Tonight my plan goes into action
I’ll have my satisfaction,
I’ll see my heart’s delight
I will ingite
A schism when I come into the light!

Jack: Well, we might have lost one of our, but it looks like Rousseau captured one of them. Locke, any idea if this guy's an Other?

Locke: He's a tough nut to crack. And staring into his eyes makes me die a little inside.

Henry: Yo, hatahs, what's with the Gitmo treatment? I already told you my story!

(To the tune of Nena's "99 Red Balloons.")

Henry: I came on a big balloon
Sailing cross the ocean blue
To think of her my heart does roil
She is buried in the soil

I’m not the man you think I am
Why do you think this is a scam?
Some crazy French chick just captured me
Yet you doubt my sincerity

You beat me, hurt me, make me bleed
In hopes these techniques will succeed.
Why must I be here so confined?
You found his corpse? Oh, never mind.

Hurley: I know I should be concerned about Michael's absence coupled with Henry's presence, but all I can focus on is this vision of my former invisible friend, Dave. He's telling me this is all a dream. But with whom can I share my inner turmoil?

Libby: Tell me about it, stud!

(To the tune of Grease's "You're the One That I Want.")

Hurley: I got pills
From the asylum.
And they helped maintain control.
But on the island
I don’t feel numb.
Maybe I can get some!

Libby: You better not jump, (bloop, bloop, bloop!)
you’re part of the plan (bloop, bloop, bloop!)
and to kiss you makes me cry. (bloop, bloop, bloop!)
Don’t be down in the dumps (bloop, bloop, bloop!)
I know how this began (bloop, bloop, bloop!)
And I know this is goodbye.

Hurley: Yes I’ll go and get the wine!

Libby: You're the one that he wants.
Chorus: But who is she working for? Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hurley!
Libby: The one that he wants.
Chorus: But who is she working for? Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hurley!

Libby: The one that he wants.
Chorus: (But who is she working for?) Hoo, Hoo, Hoo!
Libby: The one he needs.
Oh, yes indeed!

Charlie: Eko, don't go down there! Locke and Des have bunkered up in the hatch, Michael's lead half our camp on a suicide mission, and I'm pretty sure the fit's about to hit the shan!

Eko: No, Charlie. I must get past this door! Everything's starting to shake and move; what on earth is going on in there?

(To the tune of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody.")

Des: Is this the failsafe?
Should I just turn the key?
Here at the crossroads
Two paths sit right in front of me
Our Mutual Friend, will this be the end for me?

I'm just a coward, Full of hostility
Been here for three years now, all demeaned, stuck inside, quarantined
I could let the dam blow, but that is no guarantee… we’ll see.

Tom Friendly: Michael liberated Ben,
First pumped Ana full of lead, Libby showed up now she’s dead.
Michael has a list in hand
And now he’s got to lead his friends away
Michael, oooooh, (anywhere that Walt goes)
Bea Klugh sure made you cry,
And though your heart is filling up with sorrow
You press on, you press on, though Jack knows what you’re after

Michael: Too late, the trap is sprung,
Bodies writhing all around, shock darts sent them to the ground
Off to Pala Ferry, we've got to go,
To trade you for my son it’s quid pro quo

Ben: Michael, oooooh, (you are such an a-hole)
Take bearing 325
And you’ll find rescue for yourself and Waaaaalllllltttttt

Sawyer: I see a Henry (apparently his name is Ben),
Dam is loose! Dam is loose! Now the sky is all purple!
Blue skies start to shatter, damn exotic matter, see!

Locke: How is Eko? (How is Eko?)
What’s this echo? (What’s this echo?)
Where is Eko? Down below!
Imploded? Nooooooooooo!

Bea: James, Jack and Kate will join our big family,
We don't need four, odd man out is Hurley
Go tell your friends of the Others' decree

Hurley: Make me come, make me go, man this really blows
Bea: Shush Hugo, now we must make you go
Hurley: Sorry bros!
Bea: Now we must make you go
Hurley: Sorry bros!
Bea: Now we must make you go
Hurley: Sorry bros!
Bea: We must make you go
Hurley: Sorry bros!
Bea: We must make you go
Hurley: Sorry bros!
Bea: Aaaaah
Hurley: No, no, no, no, no, no, no
This is worse than gonorrhea

Bea: OK, Hurley, now you go
We have plans for these three, these three, these threeee….

Really Cold Portuguese Guy: This machine here is beeping, come give me a hand
This alarm's not a false one, why can't you understand?
Oh Penny, get a call through to Penny
We just might have found
We just might have found that Island.

Des: Now the Swan's imploded, nothing here to see
I unleashed the floodgates
Wonder what will happen to me…
Any way that time flows….

Coming soon: Act 3!

Ryan also posts every 108 minutes over at Boob Tube Dude. He invites you to join the hundreds already in Zap2It's Guide to Lost Facebook group. He also encourages you to subscribe to the Zap2It's Guide to Lost Twitter feed.

Posted by:Ryan McGee