When life and power is on the line, having the biggest brood matters. However, the crazy kids of Meerkat Manor: The Next Generation have more romance issues in a single day than most people do in a lifetime. And you thought your love life had issues.

Hop in the Chrysler, it’s as big as a whale, as are these Spoilers.

Where have all the cowboys of the Kalahari gone? Rocket Dog and Maybelline have yet to find suitable mates, and as the opportunities dwindle, the ladies go all Sex and the City in trying to net the perfect male.

At this point in the season, it seems any mate will do.

Sunrise on the desert brings the warm rays to the Aztecs, where Maybelline beings to figure out how to expand her clan. Meanwhile, the wayward mongoose who lost his home last week returns to retake his native dwelling. Young Murray and the mongoose battle twice, but each time results in a draw. This is all lost on the ladies, as their libidos have their efforts focused elsewhere.

Elsewhere being the rover in the distance. Wilson of the Commandos knows he is the main target of the Aztec women, and the chase is on. Maybelline gets the leg up by marking the ‘unsuitable’ bachelorettes. Wilson isn’t quite as agile with her as she’d like, but when he begins to pursue her sister Angie, Maybelline decides to give him another shot.

Only this time, Wilson’s brother Murray plays mood killer by hanging around the two for much longer than he’s welcome (which is the entire time!) Since the Commandos want nothing to do with him, Wilson decides to make camp with the Aztecs, quickly becoming the dominant male.

Meanwhile, the elder Zaphod seeks a new life for himself and the many Whiskers males that follow him. Alas, their bachelor pad is filled with nothing but fleas. It’s like a flashback to my old apartment! Zaphod, annoyed with the flies in his eyes, guides the group in a new direction.

After wandering for a while, Zaphod eyes a group in the distance. Primed for takeover, Zaphod readies his men for battle. Sizing up the competition, the boys charge at the new group. What seems like the start of an epic battle turns our to be a family reunion of sorts as Zaphod and the boys have found Maybelline and the Aztecs!

Once again, daddy Zaphod has ruined a daughter’s chance at love, as his arrival signals the departure of Wilson. The look in Maybelline’s eyes says it all. I can now safely say, without question, that I most identify with Wilson. Poor guy� when the only way you can describe him is by way of the famous Gilbert O’Sullivan classic, you know you have a hard luck case on your hands.

With Zaphod back in the fold, all Maybelline can do at this point is hope Wilson’s efforts will produce anything that can be considered a success. Sensing that their efforts for success have been thwarted by the nesting Zaphod, the males once under him break away to search for their prizes elsewhere.

Back at Whiskers, Rocket Dog has gained what Maybelline has lost: the ability to successfully mate without daddy Zaphod’s interference. Of course, competition from within the ranks makes it impossible to do it the easy way. To no one’s surprise, Wilson has made his way from the Aztecs to the Whiskers. The boy can sure smell opportunity a mile away!

Instead of Rocket Dog, Wilson first happens upon Sophie, foraging away from the group. He builds up the courage to make a move, and after an extended period of flirting, the camera fades from the budding romance. When the cameras return, it seems things did not go as smoothly as planned. The Whiskers know that Wilson was up to no good and take quick action to dispense of his roving tail. However, Wilson could be the key in who ultimately becomes the dominant force of the Kalahari.

Even Rocket Dog voices her displeasure to Sophie by hip slamming her. Discipline is hard to come by in the Whiskers family, and chaos could be the word if Sophie bears children before Rocket Dog.

Next time on MM:TNG, Seacrest is definitely in.

Which lady of the Desert do you think will come out on top of the Wilson sweepstakes? Does Zaphod remind you of your father? Will Wilson remain a wayward bachelor for the rest of his days?

Posted by:Brandon Millman