heather locklear amanda 2 'Melrose Place': Heather Locklear may save it. Again.Heather Locklear has made her triumphant return to “Melrose Place.” Can she save it yet again? Maybe.

Was Heather Locklear’s return to “Melrose Place” perfect? Damn near. She looked great, she kicked a** and she left us with an intriguing hook to get us back. The problem? That the show can’t keep up with her.

If this show were all about Amanda Woodward, Ella Simms and Lauren Yung, it’d be made in the shade. The Ella-Lauren friendship, the Amanda-Ella dynamic and Lauren’s hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold storylines are all great.

The problems lie with Crazy Eyes, the Spencer-lookalike and The Most Boring Couple on the Planet. I don’t know if even Amanda Woodward can save them. Luckily, Crazy Eyes is on her way out and some new blood is on its way in. (Sorry Colin Egglesfield. It’s not you.) So maybe there is hope for “Melrose Place” yet.

The biggest draw of Amanda? It wasn’t her quips, though they were excellent, or her fashion, which was also great. It was the note Sydney left for her in the safe. “Amanda — You’ll never find it. — Sydney.”

We’re intrigued.

Amanda’s Quotes

  • This L.A. branch is drowning in red like a steer in a slaughter house.
    Now when I hired you to give this place a makeover, I didn’t mean smear
    it with lipstick and turn it into a five-dollar hooker. This office? Is pathetic.

  • Why are we spending so many man hours on a denim line? And I think we
    both know what I mean by “man hours.” You could’ve been a leader,
    Caleb. But your focus shifted. From your client’s assets to your
    client’s ass. You’re fired. And take your bat and balls with you.

  • Good work, Ella. Maybe you’re not as useless as I thought.

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Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."