ashlee simpson violet 'Melrose Place': Incest is best, VioletTonight on “Melrose Place,” Crazy Eyes’ crazier-eyed brother-slash-boyfriend comes to the 4616 address.

Amanda & Michael
Our favorite bitch is after something that Sydney kept hidden (presumably what she was looking for in the safe). Her first stop? Dr. Michael Mancini. YES! She grills him about Sydney, then when she learns about David, she makes thinly-veiled threats at him too. She also gets to threaten Ella after she learns about Ella spying on her computer at work.

David & Lauren

They’re all kissy-face and boy, did David out-run his coverage on this one. Stretched a single into a triple. Get a girl way hotter than he should get, ifyaknowwhatI’msayin. When Michael threatens Lauren’s career if David doesn’t back off on the Sydney thing, David warns Lauren but she laughs it off.

David takes the bloody necklace to the police and they give him a song-and-dance about the necklace being obtained during David’s B&E in Michael’s car. Meanwhile, Michael lies about a patient’s chart to make Lauren look like she doesn’t pay attention. Lauren asks David about it and says it’s hard to take the word of a thief over the word of a world-renowed cardiologist. Hmmm. Lauren chooses cardiologist over thief and tells Michael about David stealing the necklace from his car. Michael pretends to be concerned.  Except Lauren was totally setting Michael up for an arrest at David’s apartment when he comes to get the necklace. Awesome.

Ella & Jonah
Jonah is starting as IT guy at WPK, which makes Riley nervous. As well it should. When Jonah starts going through the IT surveillance, Ella asks him to search for emails pertaining to herself. When he balks, she lays sob-story of a mom hooked on prescrips until he caves.  Of course, in his search Jonah finds an email where Ella makes it sound like she thought Jonah shouldn’t get credit for the Boomkat video.

Well, duh. She had to kiss her boss’ ass. Don’t make something out of nothing, Jonah.  He confronts Ella about the email (in a passive-aggressive way) and he storms off.  Don’t be a baby, Jonah. You know how the world works.

Riley & Violet

Violet confronts Riley about turning Auggie in to the police, getting her crazy eyes on all over the place. The “federalies?” Is that what she said? Violet’s lucky Riley didn’t punch her. At work, Violet’s brother Levi shows up and he’s all over her. Foster brother, then, I’m assuming. Or else… gross.

Turns out they had a sexual relationship because they’re both “adopted.” He then tries to force it out of her (either sex or money) and Riley steps in and uses the money Violet just gave her to pay back for her bail to get Levi to go away. Man, guys named “Levi” are bad news.

Psycho Levi (who makes Violet’s crazy eyes pale in comparison) comes at Riley about the “Auggie” stuff he overheard and smashes Jonah’s camera. When he storms off, Violet and Riley throw doe-eyed concerned looks at each other. Ugh. I seriously don’t care two whits about these two.

The Apartment
Right at the end of the episode, Amanda moves in as the new tenant. Awe. Some.

Thoughts & Tidbits

  • More Amanda, Ella and Lauren. Less Violet, David and Riley. UGH!. This episode kinda blew, guys. And I’m a fan of the new “MP.”
  • Michael: Why don’t you ask my son David? At the end, he was closer to her than I was.
    Amanda: Your son? God help anyone blessed with those genes.
    Michael: They were together right before she died. He lives in West Hollywood. I think you know the address.

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‘Melrose Place’: Where are they now?

Photo credit: The CW

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."