ashleesimpson melroseplace 290 'Melrose Place': You better workTonight on “Melrose Place,” Riley becomes a fashion model and Violet gets crazier (and a little bit awesome).

Violet the Devious
Crazypants goes all cuckoo at Auggie’s apartment, fondling his clothes, stroking his bed and searching his drawers. She gets caught by David and claims she’s “house-sitting.” Violet finds a letter from Sydney to Auggie about Dr. Michael Mancini.

Later she is chugging Red Bulls and slathering on make-up in order to show up at the hospital with a racing heart for head cardiologist Mancini to check out. She looks more than a little like Sydney and his interest is piqued.

He “examines” her, realizes it’s just too much caffeine and says the visit is on the house. She then says he can come by Cole and have one on the house there. Eventually I’m sure they’ll be having each other on the house. Predictably, he shows at Cole and there is mucho flirting. When his wife Vanessa calls, he heads out but Violet follows him to “make sure he’s okay to drive.” They end up getting hot & heavy in his car and she slips out her cell phone.

Later, she comes to his house under the guise of interviewing for the sitter job and blackmails him with her video of their encounter, telling him that she’s Sydney’s daughter and she blames him for what happened to Sydney.

Jonah, Ella & Riley the Fashion Model?
Jonah films a fashion shoot for Ella and when Riley has to bring him a lens he forgot, the organic-crunchy-granola designer wants Riley for the face of his new campaign because she shows up all covered in paint and spinning tales of 1st grade. Wow.

Ella is none-too-pleased about having to work with Riley as her newest model but she puts on a good face taking champagne over to Riley & Jonah’s apartment. Riley is totally freaking out  but Ella says it’s 5 days of work for $10,000. Riley still says no and Ella calls her selfish and storms out.

Except Riley & Jonah’s rent check bounced and then when she catches him selling one of his favorite cameras. She doesn’t want him sneaking around hiding his money problems from her and it’s an actual scene between them that I like. Well done, Riley & Jonah. She then shows up for the modeling gig at WPK.

Riley surprises Jonah at the shoot, looking super-hot. OMG, I want her stomach. He’s gobsmacked and touched and all that. Awww, I hate that I’m actually liking them in this episode!

Lauren & David
She’s super-busy between the hospital and ho-ing. She’s sent to an elite party on yacht where she might be having a little girl-on-girl action. The yacht party is for “import-export” gentlemen (coughMafiacough) and David shows up because he’s trying to unload more art/antiquities.

Lauren freaks when David shows up on the boat and begs her new hooker friend to help her out. NHF distracts David and Lauren runs for it. Meanwhile, David is asked to be a lackey for the “import/export” guys and he turns them down because he works alone.  A fight ensues and David gets the tar beat out of him. He shows up back at the MP building and spins a tale for Lauren about crashing a motorcycle.

She doesn’t believe him (of course) and takes him to the hospital, where Dr. Michael Mancini sees him. Mancini then threatens that Lauren better tell him when she finds out what really happened to David. She tells David his injuries aren’t consistent with a motorcycle crash and he cops to a fight, but not the whole story.

Meanwhile, Wendy agrees to give Lauren another chance because Lauren told her the truth about why she ran off the boat. But Lauren OWES HER. Dun dun dun.

Thoughts & Tidbits

  • Okay, I still don’t LOVE Ashlee Simpson but she rose several notches for me this episode. She could master crazy sexpot yet.
  • Wendy: Lauren, if you have a versatility issue I can call somebody else.
  • Riley: I teach 1st grade and what you are asking me to do means taking a whole week off work. My class has tests, projects, trips planned. I mean, those kids spend more time with me than they do their parents!
    Ella: Kids are resilient, they’ll get over it.
Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."